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I've had the same will since I was 8 years old. Upon my death, I will transfer all of my belongings to the man or animal who has killed me.

Ron

Ben: I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to have a weapon at work.
Ron: Literally, everything is a weapon. That folder in my hands is far deadlier than this bow in yours.

April: Parks can only be reserved for witch covens or slip and slide competitions. Which one are you?
Nadia: Umm, slip and slide competition.
April: Seriously?

Ben, your heart's in the right place. Your heart and your butt.

Leslie

My DVR is 13 months pregnant with episodes of #Scandal.

Craig

Tyynifer: You're so awesome right now. You're like a skinny Mother Theresa.
April: It's Dwyane Wade's house. I got the address off the internet. I really hope he's there when she walks in and throws a basketball at her head.

Ben, it's been an honor watching you work today. It's been like watching Leonardo work. Da Vinci or Dicaprio—you're that good.

Chris

I'll tell you what's not fair. I'm going to have to watch the Oscars with Ben alone this year! Remember Angelina Jolie and the leg dress moment? He had and I quote, 'No comment!'

Leslie

Who wants to stay in the greatest town in the world with her best friend and be happy forever when she can abandon her soul sister and live in a city city full of jerks? I get it—no hard feelings!

Leslie

Pawnee has the first documented case of mega-diabetes.

Leslie

Ron Swanson: Ron.
Ron Don: Ron.
Ron Swanson: Last name?
Ron Done: Done.
Ron Swanson: Is that your name or are you telling me you're finished talking?
Ron Done: Both.
Ron Swanson: Done and Done.

She's the worst person I've ever met. I want to travel the world with her.

April
Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1356 in total

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Parks & Rec Quotes

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April
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