Parks and Recreation Quotes
That's why people respect Hillary Clinton so much. 'Cause nobody takes a punch like her. She's the strongest, smartest punching bag in the world.
Leslie
Leslie: What kind of birds do you guys eat?
Raul: Chickens.
Leslie: Us too. Amazing.
Elvis: Do we just, uh, select the woman we desire? I will take the large, black one.
Tom: Interesting choice.
I am deputy director of parks and recreation and chairwoman of the departmental adhoc subcommittee for pit beautification, Leslie Knope.
Leslie
I had to drop the rock and roll bowling alley from our itinerary. That was one of the most difficult phone calls I've ever had to make.
Leslie
My mom's Puerto Rican. That's why I'm so lively and colorful.
April
Also, remember everyone. Venezuela is a poor country. These men are not used to the wealth and flash that we have here in central Indiana.
Leslie
Leslie: Our photo op with the mayor is tomorrow at 3 p.m., so I'm gonna need your suggestions about my wardrobe asap.
Tom: I told you, gold sequin sweatpants.
Ann: What are you up to?
Leslie: Just looking up scandalous information about my co-workers for a game we're playing.
Ann: My taxes pay your salary right?
Leslie: Yeah?
Ann: Cool.
Leslie: What if he shows up with another woman? What if one of my sleeves catches on fire and it spreads rapidly. What if instead of tic tacs I accidentally pop a couple of Ambien and I have to keep punching my leg to stay awake?
Ann: Those are all insane hypotheticals and I promise you they won't happen.
Leslie: They have happened. All of these have happened to me. Uh, no, there's more. One time I accidentally drank an entire bottle of vinegar. I thought it was terrible wine. Once I went out with a guy who wore 3-D glasses the entire evening. Oh, one time I rode in a sidecar on a guy's motorcycle, and the sidecar detached and went down a flight of stairs. Another time I went to a really boring movie with a guy and while I was alseep he tried to pull out one of my teeth. I literaly woke up with his hand in my mouth. We went out a couple times after that but then he got weird.
Ann: You're 20 minutes late. I almost left.
Leslie: Well, I was, dropping my niece off.
Ann: What's your niece's name?
Leslie: Torple. What? I don't know. That's not a name. I don't have a niece. My niece's name is Stephanie?
Leslie: Let's begin our conversation.
Ann: What's on the note cards?
Leslie: They're possible topics of conversation.
Ann: Whales. Parades. Electricity. And the rest are blank.
Leslie: Yeah, well I couldn't think of anything else.
