Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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I'm sorry, is your name Jennifer?
Tyynifer. No, it's Tyynifer with two ys. It used to be Jennifer, but then I decided to re-brand myself. Oh wait, it's Xanax-o'clock.

April

Things are exactly the same as they were in 1817. Except women and minorities can vote, we have indoor toilets, they don't burn widows for learning arithmetic.

Leslie

Right now my gut is telling me we're going to listen to Mariah Carey the whole way home.

Ann

Your butler made your bed and now you need to lie in it.

Leslie

Ingrid: We purchased HBO for the entire town.
Ben: You spent government money on a TV subscription?
Ingrid: It's not TV.

I'm April Ludgate Kvorkian.

April

Ron: We only subscribe to two magazines: Reader's Digest and Ebony. Ebony was a clerical error but it was an interesting year of reading.

When you tell an Eagletonian they need an oil change, they ask Extra Virgin or White Truffle.

Leslie

She thinks she's so great because she won the Miss Indiana Beauty Pageant. Last year. In office. While pregnant.

Leslie

Look, am I proud of it? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Is it the classiest move? Yes, because Eagleton sucks. Would I do it again? Yes, because Eagleton sucks.

Leslie

Andy: I have no idea how to run a nonprofit.
April: Hey, you shined shoes for two years and never earned a profit.

Andy: What else does your family own?
Lord Covington: Well, um have you heard of Scotland?

Displaying quotes 145 - 156 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.