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Parks-and-recreation

Tom: [on his name] I changed it to Tom Haverford. Because brown guys with funny sounding Muslim names don't make it far in politics.
Leslie: What about Barack Obama?
Tom: Okay. Yeah. Fine. Barack Obama.

Cop: Ma'am, as I told you, this is a police matter.
Leslie: Well, it doesn't seem to MATTER. To the POLICE!
Cop: Okay, nice job with that.

Cop: What branch of government are you in?
Leslie: Parks and Recreation.
Cop: Parks and Recreation.
Leslie: Yes. Parks and recreation. Did I STUTTER?

April: I had to wait until my dad fell asleep so I could steal his keys. you ready?
Ron: I was born ready. I'm Ron F*%king Swanson.

[to Andy] I'm happy for you about your job, and that you've learned some new words, but I've made my decision.

Ann

There are two bisexual guys here and I got both of their phone numbers. Oh yeah!

Leslie

Marcia: When you symbolically married those penguins on government property you took a stand in favor of the gay marriage agenda.
Leslie: That's not what I intended.
Marcia: Then why else would you marry penguins?
Leslie: Because I firmly believed that it would be cute. And it was!

Andy? After we broke up, he told me he would doing to Kansas to climb mountains. So ... I don't really know where he is.

Ann

I've seen so many dudes from City Hall here tonight, it's crazy! [pause] But, I guess they've seen me here too. Which is not so great.

Tom
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