Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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Together, as a town, we lost an amount of weight equal to 800 pregnant manatees.

Chris

Woah, Dylan, slow down. That sweat suit is not for sweating. If you take that crushed velvet on more than a brisk walk,it'll fall apart.

Tom

Due to a tragic misunderstanding, the prettiest pig beauty pageant has been replaced by a pork rib barbeque competition.

Chris

I'm boreddddd. Let's go have sex in a tree. He'll be back in 8 minutes.

Mona Lisa

I like the rain and the fish markets.

Donna

Your office shall serve as his monkey tomb!

Leslie

I've been single for an hour now and it's the tits!

Mona Lisa

When you're not around, Tom drinks tap water.

Ann

To be perfectly honest, Mouserat's music is not my thing. I really only listen to like German death reggae, Halloween sound effects from the 1950s, and Bette Midler. Obviously.

April

How did I not know that Diddy was on Instagram, you jagweeds?

Mona Lisa

Well, I dropped my cell phone in a bowl of cereal last week, idiot! If you had called me, you would have known that!

Andy

Dating Mona Lisa is awesome. Except I live in constant fear of my life. So I need to do the mature thing and get someone to dump her.

Tom
Displaying quotes 169 - 180 of 1356 in total

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Andy: From now on, we will be using code names. You can address me as
Eagle One. Ann, code name -- Been There, Don That. April is --
Currently Doing That. Donna is -- It Happened Once in a Dream; Chris,
code name -- If I Had To Pick a Dude. Ben is -- Eagle Two.
Ben: Oh thank God.