Tom: What is this, a rotten grapefruit?
Larry: No, it’s my dog’s rectum.

Please, Ron. I’ve never asked you for anything today.


This is the hardest I’ve ever worked on anything since…wow—I’ve never worked hard on anything! What a cool life!


Donna: Your family has made you a more patient and empathetic person.
Ron: You take that back!

I’ll wear that red thing when you deserve to see me in that red thing.


Ben: Why would you erase the signatures?
Townsperson: I’m more of a Jack Johnson guy.

Why don’t you take a whale sounds break?


Earlier, I was licking icing off of my finger and boom, I swallowed my wedding ring.


We’re all just calm and happy people together enjoying ourselves on earth.


Ben! We knocked it out of the park first time around. If we play this right, we could raise one third of the Supreme Court!


Slowing down is not really my jam.


Live your life how you want, but don’t confuse drama with happiness.


Parks & Rec Quotes

Ben: Newspaper headline was "Ice Town costs ice clown his town crown."
Leslie: Yuck.
Ben: They were big into rhymes.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!