Parks and Recreation Quotes
Hello, Joe. My name is Ron Swanson. I am Donna’s work-proximity associate.
Ron
Andy, I was nice to Larry. I scratched his back and had a conversation with him! It was horrible! How could you do that to me?
April
Andy, if you have a secret, you have to tell me. That’s the whole point of marriage! You get twice the secrets!
April
Tom: You’re like a crazy volcano. You’ll have to bring it down a notch.
Craig: I’ll bring it down a dozen notches if I have to!
I’ll have a glass of your most expensive red wine mixed with a glass of your cheapest white wine served in a dog bowl. Silly straws all around, please.
April
It’s your me. It’s wife.
Leslie
I think we can agree that all wine tastes the same and if you spend any more than 5 dollars on wine, you are very stupid!
April
This comes from your mother’s butt.
April
Ben: I really like you, but you are a terrible person to talk to about personal stuff.
Ron: Thank you, that means a lot to me.
I need the good stuff. The “Mariah needs to sing tonight” stuff.
Leslie
Andy: If you do collapse, I know first aid, er karate.
Leslie: That’s not first aid.
Andy: It is if you do it right! Heimlich!
I don’t drink alcohol from that portion of the color system.
Ron
