I change my locks every 16 days. That key's been useless since the 2nd Tuesday I gave it to you.

Ron

Ben: Now one's ever asked me how my kids are or who's taking care of them. By the way who's taking care of them?
Leslie: My -- my mom, everythings fine.

I love how independent my wife is, and for that reason, I will not let her speak! That came out wrong.

Ben

Gerry: Gale might even call me the "b" word. Bozo.
Donna: Wow, we are very different people.

Andy: Ohh babe you had a crush on me, that's emabrassing!
April: We're married.
Andy: Still!

It's an impossible puzzle, and I love puzzles!

Ron

She's an exceptional human being, who married a well-intentioned goof ball.

Ben

Leslie: You wanted to run something by me?
April: Yes. So well you help me?
Leslie: you don't need me! You can get whatever job you want!

I just want to say thank you, and I love you very much. Which is why I decided not to turn you into a sea urchin, which I can do, because I'm an actual witch, with powers, and I'm evil, and -

April

I just fell backwards into your world, a couple years went by, and now here I am.

April

She'll take it! Lets talk perks. Does she get the summer off like school?!

Andy

John McCain: Has anyone ever told you your tenacity can be a bit intimidating.
Leslie: Yes, every day of my life since the 4th grade.

Parks & Rec Quotes

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April

Just remember every time you look up at the moon, I too will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, that’s impossible.

Andy