Was he killed by a younger, stronger, barber!?

Andy

Oh yeah, you completely disgraced yourself and almost destroyed an entire town!

April

You're what keeps me going. You're my "VerizonChipotleExon."

Andy

I once found a rock that look like Santa Claus -- hat and everything.

Andy

I don't understand what's the problem Officer, just train the ocean!

Andy

My wife, "April Ludgate-Karate-Dwyer!"

Andy

"Phenomenon" means to "search a cave."

Andy

Andy: Hey, kids! This seems like a "hug moment!"
Ron: You are mistaken! Remove the graphic!

I don't know what happened! I took it out to play hide and seek, I couldn't find it, and -- oh wait I know what happened.

Andy

In a couple weeks, I'll be moving to Washington, D.C. It's the capitol of the entire world.

Andy

Elise: Congratulations Ben, we'd like to name you woman of the year.
Leslie: Son of a bitch!

Because this tree is strong and quite, and always there when you need it. Or whatever.

Ron

Parks & Rec Quotes

Leslie: I know you're not gay.
Tom: No, I'm not.
Leslie: But you're effeminate.
Tom: What?
Leslie: Well, you're wearing a peach shirt with a coiled snake on it.
Tom: That's because it was featured in Details magazine, and it's awesome.

Look, Tammy and I don't work. We are oil and water. Or oil and TNT and C4 and a detonator and a butane torch.

Ron