Ron: Why do people eat anything besides breakfast food?
Leslie: Because people are idiots Ron.

Leslie: Ron, you big fat giant sap!
Ron: That seems unnecessary.

I moved our meetings to tomorrow because you are drunk, and hangover, simultaneously, at 2 in the afternoon.

April

Sure I loved shutting things down, bleeding the beast from the inside...

Ron

I was going to ask you for a job. In the federal government - even saying it feels dirty.

Ron

Ron: Hello Larry.
Terry: It's Terry now.
Ron: Okay.

Two years ago, you found out you were quarter French and had a nervous breakdown.

Leslie

That's the real reason I hired you. Those brownies were damn good.

Ron

Ron: You called me a "heartless thug."
Leslie: I absolutely did not!
Ron: You were tough. And honest.

I'll do anything! I'll watch a foreign film! I'll talk to a man with a ponytail!

Ron

Leslie: You forgot the last sentence.
Ron: No I didn't - I remember that part. It says "hire her."

Ron: You mean I've had a toy on my desk all this time?
Leslie: You mean you thought you had a REAL landmine on your desk??

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April