Ron: I have my rights as a US citizen to blow a hole in that f*cking door and get out! It's in the constitution!
Leslie: There's no swearing in the constitution.

Ron: That's not the whole story.
Leslie: What does that mean?
Ron: It means what it means. That is not the whole story of why I left.

Leslie: Come on Ron, we were friends for 10 years.
Ron: We were work proximity associates.

Ron: WHAT IF WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY AND HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE?
Leslie: I DID NOT CONSIDER THAT POSSIBILITY!

I would rather bleed out than sit here and talk about my feelings for 10 mins.

Ron

I'm going to break out of here, then I'm going to snap you in half.

Ron

Leslie: You're the most unreasonable person I've ever meet and I'm not going to change my mind no matter what anyone says.
Ron: You're bad at scrapbooking.
Leslie: Whaa--?

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Did you hear a word I said?! No you didn't! Because I'm a ghost!

Ben

Leslie: That was all flash no substance!
Ron: It was exactly as substantive as your presentation.

They're talking about this ball!

Leslie

This is a competition. We need to win it. Please do your jobs.

Ron

Do you want me to bite him?

April

Parks & Rec Quotes

Ron: Indianapolis is home to Charles Mulligan's Steakhouse, the best damn steakhouse in the damn state. I have taken a picture of every steak I've ever eaten there. June 2004: Porterhouse, medium rare, Bearnaise sauce. January 2000: They call this one, The Enforcer. February '96: The steak ribeye. The Whiskey: Lagavulin 16. The lady next to me? A bitch. Specifically, my ex-wife Tammy. OK, this is the first I ever went there. Look at me. Just a kid.

Time is money, money is power, power is pizza, and pizza is knowledge, let’s go!

April