Parks and Recreation
Season 2 Quotes (Page 11)

Episode 10: "Hunting Trip"

Leslie: When you're out with the boys you've gotta be ready for a good pantsing. That's why I have suspenders that connect my bra to my jeans. [permalink]

Leslie: Ann, you ready to bag some birds?
Ann: Nope. But I am ready to relax by the fire and get my real simple magazine on.
Leslie: Well if you change your mind, you're now officially a licensed Indiana hunter.
Ann: Oh, gross. [permalink]

Ron: And just like that. The one tiny aspect of government I enjoyed was clubbed to death before my eyes. [permalink]

Leslie: You're literally listening to turkey calls.
Ron: Is this-is this not rap?
Leslie: Come on. [permalink]

Leslie: Ron, let's cut the bull. I want me, Tom and all the other ladies included on your hunting trip. [permalink]

Leslie [giving excuses why she shot Ron]: I got that tunnel vision that girls get. I let my emotions get the best of me. I cared too much, I guess. I was thinking with my lady parts. I was walking and it felt icky. I thought there was gonna be chocolate. I don't even remember! I'm wearing a new bra, and it closes in the front, so it popped open and it threw me off. All I wanna do is have babies! I'm just going through a thing right now. I guess when my life is incomplete, I wanna just shoot someone. This would not happen if I had a penis! Bitches be crazy. I'm good at tolerating pain; I'm bad at math, and... I'm stupid. [permalink]

April: I gave my gay boyfriend's boyfriend a hickey and it totally made my gay boyfriend jealous. [permalink]

Andy [about Mark and Ann]: They're probably making out, over a dead deer. Super romantic. [permalink]

Ron: You know, Leslie, the Super Bowl is in a couple months. I usually watch it with my brothers, maybe you can come by during halftime and shoot me in the head? [permalink]

Tom [about Ron]: On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how pissed off is he? [permalink]

Tom: Your favorite kind of cake can't be birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal if breakfast cereal.
Donna: I love breakfast cereal. [permalink]

Leslie: I think this is gonna be a really good bonding experience with Ron. Guys love it when you can show them you're better than they are at something they love. [permalink]

Leslie: Anne, I always forget because you're so pretty you're not used to rejection. [permalink]

Leslie: I'm really good at hunting and I'm even better at being one of the guys. [permalink]

Episode 9: "The Camel"

Tom: Mark's not even in the department.
Mark: Neither is Ann.
Tom: But Ann's hot. And that counts for something. [permalink]

Joe: Hey, Knope. How's life in the Parks De-Fartment?
Leslie: Better than life in the Sewage De-Fartment. Which makes more sense. [permalink]

Leslie: I've seen you sketch things.
Mark: Uh, yeah. Like poles for stop signs.
Leslie: That everybody stops and looks at.
Mark: By law, Leslie. They're required to. [permalink]

Leslie: Ann's in trouble. We think it might be pills.
Mark: What?
Leslie: No. That's a lie. But this is just as important. We need you to look at a piece of art. [permalink]

Leslie: Can we all agree on eliminating any of these designs.
April: Ann's blows.
Ann: Wow, don't hold back.
April: No offense but it's a giant picture of a park. That's not art.
Ann: Well, at least it's not a fat human hamster eating meat.
April: You don't even work here.
Leslie: OK, guys you both have a point. Ann, yours was a little trite. And April, yours was hellish, and might make someone vomit.
April: Thank you. [permalink]

Leslie: People love voting for tragedy. Look at the Oscars! This is our Holocaust movie. This is our English Patient.
Ann: Sounds like you're exploiting the tragedy.
Leslie: See, Ann gets it. [permalink]