Parks and Recreation

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes (Page 5)

Season 2 Episode 21: "Telethon"

Leslie: So how are things going with you two?
April: They're going really well. We're gonna get married and I'm pregnant with his child.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Martin: Coming up, a very special video presentation called Even My Tongue is Fat: The Story of Pawnee.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Joan: Diabetes. Yuck. Tonight we're hoping the people of Pawnee dig their big, chubby hands into their plus-sized pockets and donate generously.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Yeah, it's exciting-
Joan: Cut the chatter. Telehosting? Not as easy as it looks, OK? This isn't C-SPAN. This is Local Access 46.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I'm fix six and three-quarters.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: Got enough leg room back there?
Detlef: Yeah, you don't have to sit so far up.
Tom: Yeah, I do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ron: I have to nap up. If I don't get a solid five, it kills my sunny disposition.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: My nana, she used to say the best stuff. No work yourself into a lather. Look where it is and you'll find it. Don't put me in a home. Tell the truth and shame the devil. The devil knows where you're hiding. If you take enough rides with the devil pretty soon he's going to drive. She was really into the devil.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ann: As a nurse and as your friend, I highly suggest you don't try to stay up for the next 24 hours.
Leslie: I can definitely do it. I've already been up for 24 hours.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tom: Does Pawnee Cable Access even have hair and makeup?
Leslie: Well, they have a communal lipstick in a box of combs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: You're never going to believe who I got. People are going to freak out.
Tom: Rihanna.
Leslie: No.
Tom: Dr. Oz.
Leslie: Nope, you're never going to ask.
Tom: Justin Bieber.
Leslie: No. Ex-Indiana Pacer. Small forward Detlef Schrempf.
Tom: THE Detlef Schrempf?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tom: I can't make it to the telethon tonight because I have no interest in being there.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: Can you get five eagles? No, get 10 eagles!
Mark: Leslie-
Leslie: No, you're right. It's your life. Give her as many eagles as you want.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: Horseback. You should ask her on horseback. No, you should ask her in a hot air balloon. No, she should be on a hot air balloon and you should ride up on horseback. Oh, wait. She's in the balloon; you ride up on horseback. You point to the sky. Up there, skywriting. Marry me, Ann.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jerry: No, Leslie. Please. Tonight's kind of a big night. You know, all my kids are away...
Tom: Gross! No! That's Jerry's sex night. That ruins sex and tonight.
 • Rating: Unrated

Leslie: And it's important because Pawnee is the fourth fattest town in the U.S. It goes us, Dallas, Tulsa and certain parts of the Mall of America.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: I wish he had tiny puppy shoes. I would totally shine his little shoes for free. I do say the cutest stuff.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 2 Episode 20: "Summer Catalog"

Leslie: Why would anybody ever eat anything besides breakfast food?
Ron: People are idiots, Leslie.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Leslie: I really made love to the pooch on this one.
Ron: Screwed the pooch?
Leslie: I don't like that term. It's too vulgar.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: I tried to Photoshop it to make it look like they were happy. It was really hard. Their mouths are so old.
 • Rating: Unrated

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