What exactly will you be cutting? And how much of it, and can I watch you do it while eating pork cracklings?


Chris is the most positive state budget auditing consultant I've ever met. I mean, I made eye contact with him and it was like staring into the sun.


Jerry, we don't know that. Maybe these people are very helpful and pleasant and-aah! Death!


Man, I should have yelled at you way more.


Tom says it's OK. That probably means it isn't OK.


Ron: Leslie, what do we do when we get this angry?
Leslie: We count backwards from 1,000 by sevens and we think of warm brownies.

Yeah, you're right. I'm not going to fight them-except that I am!


Paul: We are postponing all planning and spending decisions indefinitely.
Leslie: Um, until when?
Paul: Indefinitely.
Leslie: And when will that end?
Paul: Later than now.
Leslie: So this week, probably?

The yearly budget and planning proposal for our city is called The Master Plan. Isn't that just so awesome you can't stand it? I shall now reveal to you my master plan! Muahahahah ee ahahahah. Ugh, kind of sounded like a chimp there in the end.


Yes, I am 21 years old today, which is the age that pretty much everyone agrees makes you an adult.


Call me a romantic, but I believe by the end of the night I will have between one and four new girlfriends.


Tom: Do not miss tonight's April Ludgate birthday bash. 9 o'clock p.m. At the world famous Snakehole Lounge. The place the Pawnee Journal has called, "The sexiest, most dangerous club in town."
Leslie: That's not what they wrote.
Tom: Fine. I added the word sexiest. But, we've hired better security.

Parks and Recreation Season 2 Quotes

Andy: There's an old saying in show business: The show must go wrong. Everything always goes wrong, and you just have to deal with it.

I've seen you look at her ass when she leaves the room. You love her.