Tom: What brand is it?
Ann: It's called "Womb, There It Is!"

Are you kidding me? Sell baby, sell! Could you imagine the Treat Yo'Self day we could have? It would be pedicures on top of pedicures on top of pedicures.

Donna

I had a small part in Argo. As well as the porn version, Our Goo.

Brandy Maxx

This case just remained interesting.

Andy

Together, as a town, we lost an amount of weight equal to 800 pregnant manatees.

Chris

Woah, Dylan, slow down. That sweat suit is not for sweating. If you take that crushed velvet on more than a brisk walk,it'll fall apart.

Tom

Due to a tragic misunderstanding, the prettiest pig beauty pageant has been replaced by a pork rib barbeque competition.

Chris

I'm boreddddd. Let's go have sex in a tree. He'll be back in 8 minutes.

Mona Lisa

I like the rain and the fish markets.

Donna

Your office shall serve as his monkey tomb!

Leslie

I've been single for an hour now and it's the tits!

Mona Lisa

When you're not around, Tom drinks tap water.

Ann

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Quotes

In my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life. This is your dinner. His name is Tom.

Ron

Jerry: Can we at least have corn on the cob?
Ron: No.