To be perfectly honest, Mouserat's music is not my thing. I really only listen to like German death reggae, Halloween sound effects from the 1950s, and Bette Midler. Obviously.


How did I not know that Diddy was on Instagram, you jagweeds?

Mona Lisa

Well, I dropped my cell phone in a bowl of cereal last week, idiot! If you had called me, you would have known that!


Dating Mona Lisa is awesome. Except I live in constant fear of my life. So I need to do the mature thing and get someone to dump her.


That is my band. I didn't recognize them without me because I'm the only one that matters.


I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful government projects.


The hug machine is here! Smiling on all cylinders!


I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.


Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.'re on fire.


Andy will never be the new Jerry. Nothing embarrasses him. He is like a giant puppy with no shame.


April: Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. Next to making out with you.
Andy: Remember when we did that at the same time? It made him so uncomfortable!