Parks and Recreation

Thursdays 8:30 PM on NBC
Parks and recreation
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To be perfectly honest, Mouserat's music is not my thing. I really only listen to like German death reggae, Halloween sound effects from the 1950s, and Bette Midler. Obviously.

April

How did I not know that Diddy was on Instagram, you jagweeds?

Mona Lisa

Well, I dropped my cell phone in a bowl of cereal last week, idiot! If you had called me, you would have known that!

Andy

Dating Mona Lisa is awesome. Except I live in constant fear of my life. So I need to do the mature thing and get someone to dump her.

Tom

That is my band. I didn't recognize them without me because I'm the only one that matters.

Andy

I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful government projects.

Ron

The hug machine is here! Smiling on all cylinders!

Jerry

I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.

Tom

Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.

Uhhhh...you're on fire.

Donna

Andy will never be the new Jerry. Nothing embarrasses him. He is like a giant puppy with no shame.

Donna

April: Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. Next to making out with you.
Andy: Remember when we did that at the same time? It made him so uncomfortable!

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 211 in total

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Quotes

Ron: I'll have number eight.
Waiter: That's a party platter.
Ron: I know what I am, son.

Ann, you are such a good friend. You are a beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox. Thank you, ox, for keeping this ship afloat.

Leslie