To be perfectly honest, Mouserat's music is not my thing. I really only listen to like German death reggae, Halloween sound effects from the 1950s, and Bette Midler. Obviously.

April

How did I not know that Diddy was on Instagram, you jagweeds?

Mona Lisa

Well, I dropped my cell phone in a bowl of cereal last week, idiot! If you had called me, you would have known that!

Andy

Dating Mona Lisa is awesome. Except I live in constant fear of my life. So I need to do the mature thing and get someone to dump her.

Tom

That is my band. I didn't recognize them without me because I'm the only one that matters.

Andy

I believe in cutting useless government projects. I also believe in cutting useful government projects.

Ron

The hug machine is here! Smiling on all cylinders!

Jerry

I'm gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.

Tom

Tom: Ron, ask me if I'm sad.
Ron: No.

Uhhhh...you're on fire.

Donna

Andy will never be the new Jerry. Nothing embarrasses him. He is like a giant puppy with no shame.

Donna

April: Torturing Jerry was my favorite thing in the world. Next to making out with you.
Andy: Remember when we did that at the same time? It made him so uncomfortable!

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Quotes

I'm allergic to sushi. Every time I eat more than 80 pieces, I throw up.

Andy

In my opinion, not enough people have looked their dinner in the eyes and considered the circle of life. This is your dinner. His name is Tom.

Ron