Well, Jerry was never the type to rise above mediocrity. Or to it.

Ben

As much as we want this to happen, we can't just let Jerry disappear!

Leslie

Every memory deserves to be chronicled! Even the saggy ones.

Leslie

It's my favorite kind of battle. Two men enter. One me leaves!

April

One time my refrigerator stopped working and I had no idea what to do! I just moved!

Tom

I don't want to be overdramatic, but this is literally a battle for April's soul.

Chris

My spirit blood is on your hands.

April

Ron: There are only three ways to motivate people: money, fear, and hunger.

First stop, Motivation Station!

Chris

Ann: I keep getting outbid by someone called Tall Tyrion Lannister. What kind of name is that?
Donna: Are you kidding me? Tyrion Lannister? Lord of Casterly Rock? The Half Man? You don't watch Game of Thrones?
Ann: No, do you?
Donna: Hell, yeah! Have you seen those Dothraki dudes? They can get it! Everyone on that show can get it!

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I'll do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant that nothing got done.

Ron

What's cholesterol?

Ron

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Quotes

Leslie: It is nice to see you again.
Ben: Are you talking to my butt?
Leslie: Yes.

Normally, if given the choice between doing something and doing nothing, I'll do nothing. But I will do something if it helps someone else do nothing. I'd work all night if it meant that nothing got done.

Ron