Private Practice Season 1 Episode 1: "The Pilot" Quotes
ADDISON: "Did you cheat?"
SAM: "Two things I learned back in kindergarten. One, keep your hands to yourself. Two, he who smelt it, dealt it."
ADDISON: "That makes no sense."
SAM: "Yeah... well, you cheated... you cheated on your husband with his best friend. There. Smelt it, dealt it. It works."
ADDISON: "You're using fart logic!"
SAM: "Ow!"
ADDISON: "Idiot – you divorced Naomi?"
SAM: "Just mind your own business."
ADDISON: [slaps Sam again]
SAM: "Ouch!"
ADDISON: "Moron. She’s my best friend."
SAM: "Stop hitting me on top of my head."
NAOMI: "You got fat."
ADDISON: "I did not!"
NAOMI: "Your hair is hideous."
ADDISON: "It is not!"
NAOMI: "And you're getting really, really ugly."
ADDISON: "Aww. I missed you too."
ADDISON: "You work with your ex-husband in a shrine for your ex-husband."
NAOMI: "It’s actually a good book. And we're friends. And we stayed friends after we divorced. It’s very healthy. We're healthy."
ADDISON: "What happened between you and Sam?"
NAOMI: "Addison, you and I were close in med school, but it was a long time ago."
ADDISON: "Oh, Naomi. Come on. You can’t stay mad at me forever. I know you."
[asked if a husband with sexual problems still likes sex] "He's a guy and he's not dead. I'm guessing yes."
JACKSON
"Never talk about your penis when you hug another man."
JACKSON
