Season 1, Episode 5: "Girth"
Olive: Yesterday, a ferrier named Lucas Shoemaker was found dead. Trampled.Emerson: Why should I care about a dude that sells fur coats?
Olive: Not a furrier, a ferrier. Heir.
Emerson: Fair-rier?
Olive: It's a blacksmith. Puts shoes on horses.
Emerson: Don't try to act like that's a word everybody knows.
• Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: What did you compete about?
Olive: Promise you won't laugh?
Emerson: No.
Olive: I used to be a professional horse jockey.
Emerson: Hahahaha! (mimics riding a horse) Hahahaha!
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: There's a legless skeleton of a horse in John Jacobs tomb, and Olive knows you're dead.
Chuck: First of all, huh? And secondly, Olive thinks that I faked my death which is completely different to knowing that I'm dead.
Emerson: Yeah, different like purple and mauve.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Olive: Sweet Secretariat
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: (about John Joseph Jacobs) What if he changes when his blood sugar drops?
Olive Like a hypoglycemic werewolf!
• Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
Vivian: Is that clock right? It's 2 o'clock in the a.m.!?!
Lily: (scoffs) I'll get my gun.
Vivian: And I'll get the candy bowl
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: You can't die of evilness.
Chuck: Happens all the time you do something mean or hurtful to someone like tell a secret... Bang! You're dead.
Olive: Or Bang! You're not really dead you're just pretending to be dead while other people who think you're dead are heartbroken.
Emerson: Or Bang! You talk too much and you both go wait in the car
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Chuck: Where've you been?
Ned: Not important.
Chuck: It's important to me. I missed you.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Narrator: As the piemaker started off he realized that, for the first time in his life, he missed something more than his past. He missed his present.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Mama Jacobs: What did you say your name was? Brandon? Butch?
Chuck: Chuck?
Mama Jacobs: Chuck! I knew it was something unladylike
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 208
