Season 1, Episode 1: "Pie-lette"
Narrator: As he stared at her, he reached around his back and held his own hand, pretending he was holding hers. And at that very moment, she was pretending to be holding his• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Chuck: I can't even hug you? What if you need a hug? A hug can turn your day around.
Ned: I'm not a fan of the hug.
Chuck: Then you haven't been hugged properly. It's like an emotional Heimlich. Someone puts their arms around you and they give you a squeeze and all your fear and anxiety come shooting out of your mouth in a big wet wad and you can breath again.
Ned: That's fine for someone else to do if I'm choking on something other than emotion, but you can't touch me.
Chuck: So a kiss is out of the question?
Ned: I've lost my train of thoughts.
• Rating: 9.6 / 10 • Permalink
Chuck: (After Ned falls asleep) I'd kiss you if it wouldn't kill me.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Chuck: You said you wanted to know who killed me so that justice could be served. See, I don't think that "Justice" was on the menu. Maybe as a side dish, but not as an entrée.
Ned: It was most definitely an entrée. It was a Special of the Day. Could we drop the metaphor?
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Chuck: I guess dying's a good a reason as any to start living
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: I haven't thought of her since I was ten.
Emerson: Think of her a lot when you were ten?
Ned: I don't remember anything when I was ten.
Narrator: The pie maker remembers everything.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: Do you believe in reincarnation?
Emerson: Hell no. The planet's falling apart. Right now, it's the children's problem. We reincarnate, it's our problem
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Vivian: Charlotte was a nice girl.
Lily: With the exception of puberty.
Vivian: Which was when Lily was going through a change of life.
Lily: Impolite to talk about one's menopause in mixed company.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 208
