Season 1, Episode 9: "Corpsicle"
Emerson: Why would somebody give somebody a Christmas sweater for Christmas? You can only wear it that day.Ned: He means should. Only wear it that day.
Emerson: Yeah. Either you got to take off what you got on to put it on. Or you got wait another year for the next holiday season.
Coroner; Why are you going toe-to-toe with me on fashion?
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: Do you know you have a "tell" when you lie?
Olive: Do I?
Ned: You answer questions with questions.
Olive: Maybe I know I have a tell and I know you know I have a tell and maybe I'm doing it now to confuse you because you don't know what tell I'm telling.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Narrator: The facts were these: Abner Newsome was a happy child. For the first thirty-four seconds of his life.
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: The relationship between a father and his daughter is tenuous. It's very fragile. It could take a life time to sort out all the issues there. And what you think? You can just all "happily ever after" after just one minute? Man, you a dreamer.
• Rating: 7.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: You don't have to do this, Madeleine. Please put the gun and the bat down. Or definitely the gun.
• Rating: 9.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 1, Episode 8: "Bitter Sweets"
Chuck: He's Lord of the Pies.• Rating: 9.5 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: Well, that idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself.
• Rating: 8.7 / 10 • Permalink
Olive: Can I ask you a question? If you loved me....
Alfredo: Yes?
Olive: And we could never, ever, ever touch. Wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on letting someone else have the slightest hope that you might move on to them?
Alfredo: If I loved you?
Olive: Yeah.
Alfredo: Then I would love you in any way I could. And if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty. And if I went blind, then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind.
Olive: Eh, forget it.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: Candy might be sweet, but it's a traveling carnival blowing through town. Pie is home. People always come home.
• Rating: 8.3 / 10 • Permalink
Olive: Wouldn't it just rock and roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? Of course that'd be a different universe and something else would probably suck.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 208
