Season 1, Episode 8: "Bitter Sweets"
Olive: There's no alarm system. Got a credit card?Chuck: Why? You know how to pick locks?
Olive: No. You're gonna need to pay for the damages.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: I mean it's a broad generalization, but my guess is that an attractive man who makes pies for a living shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Alfredo: As any non-traditional remedy salesman knows; resistance to the novel and the unconventional is marbled through this country like gristle. If I'm not cutting that gristle, I'm not doing my job.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Emerson: So whoever killed Billy is walking around with nine fingers thinking they got away with murder.
Chuck: Mm-hmmm. Footloose and finger-free.
• Rating: 6.0 / 10 • Permalink
Narrator: The expression “Like a rat in a candy store,” though slightly less popular, is equally true.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Olive: It’s from the Pie Hole from across the street, as in “Shut your.” But one sweet whiff and people usually want to “Open their.”
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: The truth ain’t like puppies, a bunch of them running around, you pick your favorite. One truth… and it has come a knockin’.
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: Oh no, see, this is how it all ends. Some weird guy comes in saying stuff that don’t make no sense. And by the time your head realizes “Hey, this weird guy makes no sense,” your guts are all over the window.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Emerson: You ain’t lying. The only way you’re lying is if she asks the question, (imitates Chuck) “Hey, did you kill my father when you brought your mother back, which I didn’t know about because you never told me?” (normal voice) Don’t tell her.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: Guess what day it is today.
Ned: World Hello Day.
Chuck: Oh, you finally put up my calendar of obscure holidays.
Ned: Yes, and Hola!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 208
