Season 1, Episode 7: "Smell of Success"
Ned: I've had girlfriends but they were always extraneous factors.• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Olive: Look carefully, ladies; this is your future.
Lily: Is it vodka?
Olive: Water.
Lily: As in Russian for vodka?
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Vivian: Lily doesn't believe in water anymore, she thinks it's a waste of a perfectly good tumbler.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Chuck: Oh! Then I’ll be polite and say, "Oh, I’m sorry I forgot my purse and I’ve got no pockets".
Emerson: Uh huh… well, hey somebody see, now I’m gonna need to see some ID on the count that you look just like that dead girl that got herself killed on that tropical cruise.
Ned: Okay, if that happens I'll say something like "What is this? A police state?" (pause) If I ever say that it means I'm having a panic attack.
• Rating: 9.3 / 10 • Permalink
Olive: (watching TV) Look there's the killer.
(Oscar walks into The Pie Hole)
Chuck: Look, there's the killer.
Olive: Oh, lord.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Vivian: I think it's brave to try to be happy.
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 1, Episode 6: "Bitches"
Emerson: "Someone in love is like a gangsta. They be like, 'Oh baby, you bleeding. How did that happen?' while they're hiding the razor in their weave."• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Chuck: Four wives? That's just greedy!
Olive: And intriguing.
Emerson: Some people like vanilla, some like chocolate, others like their Neapolitan.
Ned: I like Neapolitan.
Emerson: Then you'd do well as a polygamist: one woman to have, one woman to hold.
Ned: Why? Why would you do that? For the record I'd make a horrible polygamist. I'm easily distracted, I wouldn't know where to focus..
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: The only reason I didn't tell you is because it didn't mean anything. Lots of stuff happens in the course of a day that I don't bother sharing. For instance, yesterday's four-berry pie was actually three and a half because I ran out of cranberries. I didn't tell you that.
Chuck: Actually you did. You asked if orange counted as a berry and I said it didn't, but no one had to know but us.
Ned: I like that you said "us."
• Rating: 8.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ned: You're the only one for me.
Chuck: I know you feel that now, but there are things you want, there's things we both want.
Ned: So? Everyone wants stuff. We wake up everyday with a list of wishes a mile long and maybe we spend our lives trying to make those wishes come true, but just because we want them doesn't mean we need them to be happy.
Chuck: What do you need to be happy?
Ned: You.
• Rating: 9.9 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 208
