Season: 2 1
Pushing Daisies Season 1 Quotes
Season 1 Episode 9: "Corpsicle"

Emerson: I'm a father.
Ned: As in a priest?
Emerson: As in a man... with a daughter.
• Rating: 4.2 / 5.0
Emerson: We are giant, enormous idiots. And don't you say "gi-normous" because that ain't a word
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ned: But do you hate me?
Chuck: I have to hate you a little, just for a little while. But I can’t do that if you stay
Ned: I don’t want you to hate me, I’ll stay.
Chuck: If you stay, I’ll just end up hating you more. Just go.
• Rating: 3.8 / 5.0
Coroner: My niece gave me this sweater.
Emerson: That thing’s uglier then a chipmunk’s ass.
Ned: He means the sweater, not your niece.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Narrator: Olive Snook had been delivering pies for weeks, not realizing she was a homeopathic drug mule.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Emerson: Why would somebody give somebody a Christmas sweater for Christmas? You can only wear it that day.
Ned: He means should. Only wear it that day.
Emerson: Yeah. Either you got to take off what you got on to put it on. Or you got wait another year for the next holiday season.
Coroner; Why are you going toe-to-toe with me on fashion?
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Ned: Do you know you have a "tell" when you lie?
Olive: Do I?
Ned: You answer questions with questions.
Olive: Maybe I know I have a tell and I know you know I have a tell and maybe I'm doing it now to confuse you because you don't know what tell I'm telling.
• Rating: 3.7 / 5.0
Narrator: The facts were these: Abner Newsome was a happy child. For the first thirty-four seconds of his life.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Emerson: The relationship between a father and his daughter is tenuous. It's very fragile. It could take a life time to sort out all the issues there. And what you think? You can just all "happily ever after" after just one minute? Man, you a dreamer.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Ned: You don't have to do this, Madeleine. Please put the gun and the bat down. Or definitely the gun.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Season 1 Episode 8: "Bitter Sweets"

Chuck: He's Lord of the Pies.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Emerson: Well, that idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself.
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0
Olive: Can I ask you a question? If you loved me....
Alfredo: Yes?
Olive: And we could never, ever, ever touch. Wouldn't you eventually get over it and move on letting someone else have the slightest hope that you might move on to them?
Alfredo: If I loved you?
Olive: Yeah.
Alfredo: Then I would love you in any way I could. And if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty. And if I went blind, then I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind.
Olive: Eh, forget it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ned: Candy might be sweet, but it's a traveling carnival blowing through town. Pie is home. People always come home.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Olive: Wouldn't it just rock and roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? Of course that'd be a different universe and something else would probably suck.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Olive: There's no alarm system. Got a credit card?
Chuck: Why? You know how to pick locks?
Olive: No. You're gonna need to pay for the damages.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Emerson: I mean it's a broad generalization, but my guess is that an attractive man who makes pies for a living shouldn't even spend a short amount of time in prison.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Alfredo: As any non-traditional remedy salesman knows; resistance to the novel and the unconventional is marbled through this country like gristle. If I'm not cutting that gristle, I'm not doing my job.
• Rating: Unrated
Emerson: So whoever killed Billy is walking around with nine fingers thinking they got away with murder.
Chuck: Mm-hmmm. Footloose and finger-free.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Narrator: The expression “Like a rat in a candy store,” though slightly less popular, is equally true.
• Rating: Unrated
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Season: 2 1
Total Season 1 Quotes: 164
Total Pushing Daisies Quotes: 209