Great kids come from great f*cks.

Mickey

You do. You make me hard. Now shut up and blow me already.

Sully

But you, you're my favorite, Ray. You always were. We're alike, the two of us. The same exactly.

Mickey

See, you've worn the clothes so fucking long you forgot they don't belong to you. What you should do is say thank you. And get out.

Paige

Conor wanted the family. Conor got the family.

Ray: Why'd you light your house on fire, Bunch.
Bunchy: I don't like it. Why'd you pull a gun on pop?
Ray: I don't like him.

Ya gotta be a back door man baby, at least while we get to know each other. NBA stars gotta be careful.

Deante

Ray: What'd you do?
Mickey: What did you do, Raymond? What did you do? Did you know Sully was f*ckin your little girlfriend Colleen behind your back? He found out who killed her and he knows who covered it up. I'd watch your back, kid.

Volcheck: Please forgive me, but I really wanna fuck you. Tonight.
Donna: Really sweetie? Cause I really wanna fuck you, too.

Stop offering people shit! This is a home invasion!

Lee

Mickey: You got no real porn.
Bunchy: I'm a sexual anorexic.
Mickey: Uh huh. Well, we'll take care a dat. A man's got needs.

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.