Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.

Mickey: Be my muscle. Keep track of the ladies. And for that you will have a 20% stake in this operation.
Daryll: Twenty percent? Pop you better rethink your math. That's my car on the hook. 50/50.
Mickey: Young man, I will tell you what my father told me. Fuck you, 20% is all you get.

It's dirty money, Ray, ya know? The Church, they're going broke with all these lawsuits.

Bunchy

You know how ya start your mornings in prison? Watching your cellmates take a sh*t!

Mickey

Do you know how much money I gave after Katrina? Darfur? I'm a good person. You know, I struggle, I hurt, I make mistakes. But I'm a good person. I make this world a better place. You gotta help me Ray.

Sean

Ray: Where's your father?
Marvin Gaye: Dead Holmes.
Ray: Lucky you.

Mickey: Conor, you a fag?
Conor: I don't think so.
Mickey: I met some stand up fags in prison. Good guys. Tough guys. If one of your little friends wants to give you a blow job, that's fine. A mouth is a mouth. But don't let them f*ck you in that ass. That's how you get sick.
Conor: Thanks Grandpa.

Ray: I have a black half brother.
Abby: You're jokin' me.
Ray: No.
Abby: Oh my God. That's crazy!

Mickey: Tell me one true thing Ezra.
Ezra: We all die.
Mickey: Ain't that the truth.

Ray: Where's the car Ezra?
Ezra: What car?
Ray: Your car?
Ezra: Calm down Ray. You seem tense. You should get a massage.

Mickey: I just want my family back.
Ray: No you don't, you want my family back. You can't have it. You'll never see it comin.

Alan: The secret to happiness is freedom. Here's to your new life Mick.
Mickey: F*ckin good toast, Alan.

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.