Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Kate: You know something about that Ray?
Ray: Just because we fucked doesn't mean I'm not gonna do my job (smiles).

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.

Abby: They want to cut my tits off.
Stranger: Excuse me?
Abby: I have breast cancer. They just told me. Stage 0. Have you ever heard of that? I mean Stage 0. Isn't everybody Stage 0?

Mickey: Conor, you a fag?
Conor: I don't think so.
Mickey: I met some stand up fags in prison. Good guys. Tough guys. If one of your little friends wants to give you a blow job, that's fine. A mouth is a mouth. But don't let them f*ck you in that ass. That's how you get sick.
Conor: Thanks Grandpa.

Do you know how much money I gave after Katrina? Darfur? I'm a good person. You know, I struggle, I hurt, I make mistakes. But I'm a good person. I make this world a better place. You gotta help me Ray.

Sean

Ray: I have a black half brother.
Abby: You're jokin' me.
Ray: No.
Abby: Oh my God. That's crazy!

Stu: He's hot, isn't he?
Singer mistress: Yep.
Stu: Find out who his trainer is!

He hates me Abby. Why, I don't know.

Mickey

Mickey: I just want my family back.
Ray: No you don't, you want my family back. You can't have it. You'll never see it comin.

We're at the Country Mart. Malibu is beautiful. So is your family.

Mickey

The jab is like the cane to a blind man, understand?

Terry

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Kate: You know something about that Ray?
Ray: Just because we fucked doesn't mean I'm not gonna do my job (smiles).