Well it's not going to lick itself.

Motel Owner

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.

Abby: They want to cut my tits off.
Stranger: Excuse me?
Abby: I have breast cancer. They just told me. Stage 0. Have you ever heard of that? I mean Stage 0. Isn't everybody Stage 0?

Mickey: Be my muscle. Keep track of the ladies. And for that you will have a 20% stake in this operation.
Daryll: Twenty percent? Pop you better rethink your math. That's my car on the hook. 50/50.
Mickey: Young man, I will tell you what my father told me. Fuck you, 20% is all you get.

Do you know how much money I gave after Katrina? Darfur? I'm a good person. You know, I struggle, I hurt, I make mistakes. But I'm a good person. I make this world a better place. You gotta help me Ray.

Sean

Mickey: Conor, you a fag?
Conor: I don't think so.
Mickey: I met some stand up fags in prison. Good guys. Tough guys. If one of your little friends wants to give you a blow job, that's fine. A mouth is a mouth. But don't let them f*ck you in that ass. That's how you get sick.
Conor: Thanks Grandpa.

Ray: I have a black half brother.
Abby: You're jokin' me.
Ray: No.
Abby: Oh my God. That's crazy!

Mickey: I just want my family back.
Ray: No you don't, you want my family back. You can't have it. You'll never see it comin.

Stu: He's hot, isn't he?
Singer mistress: Yep.
Stu: Find out who his trainer is!

He hates me Abby. Why, I don't know.

Mickey

We're at the Country Mart. Malibu is beautiful. So is your family.

Mickey

Ray Donovan Quotes

Well it's not going to lick itself.

Motel Owner

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.