Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.

Ray: I have a black half brother.
Abby: You're jokin' me.
Ray: No.
Abby: Oh my God. That's crazy!

He hates me Abby. Why, I don't know.

Mickey

Mickey: Conor, you a fag?
Conor: I don't think so.
Mickey: I met some stand up fags in prison. Good guys. Tough guys. If one of your little friends wants to give you a blow job, that's fine. A mouth is a mouth. But don't let them f*ck you in that ass. That's how you get sick.
Conor: Thanks Grandpa.

Do you know how much money I gave after Katrina? Darfur? I'm a good person. You know, I struggle, I hurt, I make mistakes. But I'm a good person. I make this world a better place. You gotta help me Ray.

Sean

We're at the Country Mart. Malibu is beautiful. So is your family.

Mickey

The jab is like the cane to a blind man, understand?

Terry

Stu: He's hot, isn't he?
Singer mistress: Yep.
Stu: Find out who his trainer is!

Mickey: I just want my family back.
Ray: No you don't, you want my family back. You can't have it. You'll never see it comin.

No lie lives forever Raymond. It's time to pay the piper. Why don't we kill him?

Exra

Who lives in Calabasas anyway? Sinbad, Howie Mandel? Jesus Ray.

Lee

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.