You know how ya start your mornings in prison? Watching your cellmates take a sh*t!

Mickey

It's dirty money, Ray, ya know? The Church, they're going broke with all these lawsuits.

Bunchy

Ray: Speaking of priests, you killed the wrong one, Mick.
Mickey: What are you talkin' about?
Ray: The priest that molested Bunchy? They moved him out that parish ten years ago. You killed his brother, you moron.
Mickey: So what. He didn't f*ck my boy, he f*cked someone elses.

The jab is like the cane to a blind man, understand?

Terry

Great kids come from great f*cks.

Mickey

Bunchy: What about me pop?
Mickey: Every relationship is different. Your mother was a great cook.

Mickey: Claudette. Look at you. You look great.
Claudette: It's nice of you to say that.
Mikey: Black don't crack.

Alan: The secret to happiness is freedom. Here's to your new life Mick.
Mickey: F*ckin good toast, Alan.

Ray: Where's the car Ezra?
Ezra: What car?
Ray: Your car?
Ezra: Calm down Ray. You seem tense. You should get a massage.

Mickey: Tell me one true thing Ezra.
Ezra: We all die.
Mickey: Ain't that the truth.

No lie lives forever Raymond. It's time to pay the piper. Why don't we kill him?

Exra

Who lives in Calabasas anyway? Sinbad, Howie Mandel? Jesus Ray.

Lee

Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.