You know how ya start your mornings in prison? Watching your cellmates take a sh*t!

Mickey

It's dirty money, Ray, ya know? The Church, they're going broke with all these lawsuits.

Bunchy

Bunchy: Did you beat up Daryll?
Ray: No. I had someone else do it. You want to know why, ask Mick.

Ray: Speaking of priests, you killed the wrong one, Mick.
Mickey: What are you talkin' about?
Ray: The priest that molested Bunchy? They moved him out that parish ten years ago. You killed his brother, you moron.
Mickey: So what. He didn't f*ck my boy, he f*cked someone elses.

Great kids come from great f*cks.

Mickey

Bunchy: What about me pop?
Mickey: Every relationship is different. Your mother was a great cook.

Mickey: Claudette. Look at you. You look great.
Claudette: It's nice of you to say that.
Mikey: Black don't crack.

Alan: The secret to happiness is freedom. Here's to your new life Mick.
Mickey: F*ckin good toast, Alan.

Ray: Where's the car Ezra?
Ezra: What car?
Ray: Your car?
Ezra: Calm down Ray. You seem tense. You should get a massage.

Mickey: Tell me one true thing Ezra.
Ezra: We all die.
Mickey: Ain't that the truth.

The jab is like the cane to a blind man, understand?

Terry

No lie lives forever Raymond. It's time to pay the piper. Why don't we kill him?

Exra

Ray Donovan Quotes

Who lives in Calabasas anyway? Sinbad, Howie Mandel? Jesus Ray.

Lee

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.