Lena: Avi asked me to come work with him.
Ray: What's he offerin'?
Lena: Sparking water. And the chance to be his partner.

Abby: I walked into your son's bedroom this mornin', and he was watchin' porn and fuckin' his own bed.
Ray: I don't know what the hell you're talkin' about.
Abby: Your son Conor stuck his teenage dick between his box spring and his mattress and fucked his own bed.

Bridget: Dad, I want you to come to dinner tonight. It's important to me.
Ray: Why? What's going on?
Abby: Does she need a reason?

Who fucked your wife? I bet he wasn't part of your fantasy football team.

Navy Seal

Just remember, I didn't break the law, and neither did you.


Ray: You tell him I want a check for $500,000 made out to Carl Lafell today.
Paige: Or what?
Ray: Or I'm gonna put you in the trunk of that Astin Martin and drive it off a fuckin' cliff.

Finney: Well, you've dealt with this kind of thing before. Kidnapping.
Ray: No.
Finney: Oh, I assume you're too busy saving people from themselves, covering things up, huh?
Ray: I guess.
Finney: I guess, could be, sure, okay. Is this the way you usually obtain employment, by muttering two word answers?

Kidnapper: Where's the money?!
Uber Driver: You don't need any money! It's all done through the app.

Conor: Dad's a fuckin' thug.
Bridget: Daddy's not a thug!
Conor: I meant it in a cool way.

Abby: Ezra's dead.
Ray: What?
Abby: He's gone, Ray.
Ray: The fuck you talkin' about?

Avi: Ray, we have to make things right.
Ray: Go fuck yourself.

We're the same, aren't we? I knew it the minute I met you.


Ray Donovan Quotes

Mickey: I got a good one for ya.
Bunchy: Dad, don't.
Stan: It's alright.
Mickey: What's the difference between acne and a priest? Acne waits until a boy's 14 to come on his face.

Well it's not going to lick itself.

Motel Owner