Popular Reaper Quotes
Hey, no shame in community college, K-Fed. I almost went
Sock
Andi: You were so cute together. You guys should've never broken up.
Sock: Actually, I had to, Andi, um, because I found out that she used to be a dude.
Josie: I heard that you used to be too
Sam: My parents sold my soul to the Devil.
Sock: How drunk are you?
Sam: Totally sober.
Sock: How drunk am I?
Kyle: Hey, the zombie is up before noon.
Sam: Hey, you're an idiot.
Mr. Oliver: Kyle, don't you wish your brother a happy birthday?
Kyle: This guy is 21, lives with his parents, wears an apron for living. There's no happy in that birthday, Dad
Sam: Wait a minute, so people can break out of Hell?
Devil: Yeah. That's a problem we've been having lately, what with overcrowding and so forth. Honestly, we were underprepared for the influx. I blame myself. But that's not your problem. All you have to do is track down fugitives and haul their asses over to a portal to Hell. Easy.
Sam: What do you mean by portal?
Devil: Well, any place that seems like Hell on Earth, is Hell on Earth, you know? The DMV on Union Street? Yeah, drop off a fugitive, renew your license. I'm all about the perks.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Devil: Hey, kiddo, it's okay. I've seen how this all ends. Don't worry, God wins
Sam: Do I have to go to Hell now?
Devil: Now? No, no, no, not now. You're gonna work for me now in the Earthly Realm.
Sam: You mean, like, kill people?
Devil: Wow. You're a real pessimist. Of course you won't be murdering anyone. You're just going to bring escaped souls back to Hell. You know, like a bounty hunter. That's cool, right?
Mr. Oliver: Big birthday plans, boys?
Sam: Nothing too crazy.
Mr. Oliver: Come on, Sam, you got to go out there and cut loose. You're only this age once, come on.
Sock: I like your thinking, Dad, I say we all get in the car, go get some smack, and kill a hooker in Vegas... [Mom leaves room] ah, I mean, I mean patronize a hooker in Vegas... I would never kill a hooker in Vegas, I would never kill a hooker
Sock: Can you turn your head all the way around?
Sam: Sock, I'm not possessed.
Sock: Yeah, okay.
Sam: My parents sold my soul to the Devil and I'm a bounty hunter for Hell. Totally different.
Sock: Have you even tried to turn your head all the way around?
Sam: Yeah, it totally doesn't work
Sam: I'm good at stuff, okay. Other stuff. Right?
Sock: Yeah, you do rock the house at Guitar Hero.
Sam: That's what I'm talking about
Sock: Hey, where's the truck going?
Sam: Delaware.
Sock: I approve, good.
Ben: You're an idiot, Sam. And the Devil's going to kill you when he finds out.
Sam: Well, I hope he won't find out.
Ben: Well, isn't he all-knowing and everything?
Sam: Ben, can you find Delaware on a map?
Ben: Well, you make an excellent point
Ted: You have broken the most cardinal rule here at the Bench. A bloodied customer is not a happy customer.
Sam: Ted, it was an accident. I'm really really sorry.
Ted: The question is, what is the appropriate punishment?
Sock: Well, if you wanted to be really mean, you could make us work here, wear ugly blue aprons day and night, that would suck
Sam [about the vessels]: Wait. So, they're not all little vacuums?
DMV Demon: The boss gives you the vessel he thinks you can handle. You must be a real moron
