Reaper

Reaper "Rebellion" Quotes

Devil: That is my private, and I do mean private cell phone number.
Sam: What area code is this?
Devil: Phoenix
 • Rating: Unrated

Sam: I thought you didn't believe in love?
Devil: I don't believe that humans can feel true pure love. But I know that it exists. I've experienced it myself. I'm not human, remember?
Sam: You actually loved somebody? Who? [Devil looks up] You mean God? Didn't you try to overthrow him or something.
Devil: Well, let's just say we had a little fight. I may have been a tad impetuous.
Sam: But you loved him.
Devil: With everything that I was, I loved him. And he loved all of us, too
 • Rating: Unrated

Josie: For the record, I dated you because you're sweet, you don't care what other people think, and you made me laugh.
Sock: I am all of those things. So, ummm... wanna make out?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tony: Sam is the Devil's friend.
Sam: Uh, to be clear, I'm not friends with him. He's just kinda clingy
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: But she did call me over to her place tonight to help her hook up her DVR. And I think we all know what that means.
Sock: Yeah, that means she wants you to hook up her DVR.
Ted: No, hooking up any appliance is classic gay porn terminology for getting it on. And I'm pretty sure that that translates over to the hetero arena
 • Rating: Unrated

Bob: My name is Bob and I'm a demon.
Everyone: Hi, Bob!
Bob: I had a rough week. Started off great. I rode around on Monday, collecting recyclables. Then I dropped coins into expired meters. Then I tried to eat a child. I knew right away it was wrong, so I untied the kid and called my sponsor Randy
 • Rating: Unrated

Sock [to Josie]: It's really nice to see that even though I've clearly moved on, that my mark is still all over you. Like dog pee on a pretty, pretty little tree
 • Rating: Unrated

Devil: The guy was a lawyer, of course. We have a lot of those in Hell
 • Rating: Unrated

Devil: You don't like banana splits? What are you, some kind of Commie
 • Rating: Unrated

Ben: I hope she likes peppermint.
Sock: You could have gotten her any flavor in the world you wanted to, and you gave her peppermint! Really?
Ben: Yeah, why?
Sock: Ben, everybody knows peppermint is for jerks, right?
 • Rating: Unrated

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