Rescue Me

Rescue Me Quotes (Page 3)

Season 7 Episode 5: "Head"

Tommy: What's that?
Larry: Now you know why they call me "Loch Ness."
 • Rating: Unrated

Sean: It's us against them at this point. They play dirty. We play dirty. Remember what Needles said.
Mike: What?
Sean: What did Needles say?
Needles: You're a moron.
Sean: No. That wasn't it.
Needles: Fight fire with fire.
Sean: Well, I would've remembered that. Hello.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Sean: What do you mean I have a small penis?
Emily: I'm sorry. Really, I'm not trying to be mean. I think you have a great little penis.
Sean: Ok. Can we stop calling it "little," please?
Emily: Modest?
Sean: Yeah, that's... no.
Emily: Petite?
Sean: No, I don't... ok, let's just call it little.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Needles: Tommy, I need you to go home. Don't do anything stupid for about a month.
Sean: That's not gonna happen. Did I say that out loud?
 • Rating: Unrated

Lou: I married a hooker.
Needles: He married a hooker. I married a Russian mail order bride.
Sean: Uh, I married Maggie.
Needles: Which I'm banking on makes the hooker and the mail order bride seem sensible.
Black Shawn: I'm marrying Colleen.
Needles: Which is gonna make marrying Maggie look like a day at the beach. No offense, Tommy.
Tommy: None taken.
Franco: Yeah, well, I guess I could be considered a deadbeat dad.
Needles: And a conspiracy freak.
Mike: My gayness.
Lou: The whole nun thing.
Franco: Lesbo girlfriend.
Mike: Extreme gayness.
Needles: You know what's sad. Him being gay is the least of our public relations problems.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 7 Episode 4: "Brownies"

Sean: First off, I never fart with a new chick until like the fourth date, third maybe. Second off, I have never in my life farted the smell of a rotting corpse. I'm telling you I would have to eat a dead guy who just ate Indian food and then s**t his pants, in order to smell that bad. That's how bad it was.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sean: You think we could light like one or two... hundred more candles?
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: I don't want to spend the next ten years twisting in the wind trying to figure out all of this, you know, anger or grief. I don't want to be you. All the stuff you're talking about, I mean, all the stuff about God and ghosts and all of it. It doesn't make a difference, the women and the booze. You have to just go home and kiss your wife the way you kissed me. That might work a little magic.
 • Rating: Unrated

Kelly: The doctor said "you won," but I don't feel like I won anything!
 • Rating: Unrated

Mike: Her vagina. Was it like rank? Cause that happens to chicks, bro. That's why they invented the douche.
Sean: I thought they invented that so we'd have something to call you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lou: I'll tell you what I think. your wife has a vagina. Sheila has a vagina. Kelly has a vagina. Your daughters have vaginas. You are surrounded by vaginas on all sides, which is probably the reason why, I believe, you've grown one all on your own. Because you're no longer thinking with your cock, you're thinking with your vag. It's the only reason that makes sense because otherwise you would be banging beautiful Miss Kelly instead of heading into one of these emotional affairs with her, just like last year.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lou: Why don't you get that Tom? I've got a funny feeling it's probably for you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tommy: Everybody dies. Some die quick and easy. Some die quick and hard.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 7 Episode 3: "Press"

Tommy: There are no happy endings.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sean: Hey, you gonna try and bang her?
Mike: Nah, bro. I'm not in that mode right now.
Sean: Getting laid mode? I didn't realize there was a "not getting laid" mode.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tommy: You talked to Derrick Jeter?
Kelly: I don't know. I guess. I asked Derrick Jeter to stop talking to me.
Tommy: You asked Derrick Jeter to stop talking to you?
 • Rating: Unrated

Sean: She is so hot.
Mike: I know and she wears that tulip bodice like a princess.
Sean: What did you just say?
 • Rating: Unrated

Tommy: What's wrong with Feinberg?
Needles: I think he might be Jewish.
 • Rating: Unrated

Needles: Nobody talks about the downside about being a Mormon. Every guy wants two chicks at the same time till they turn on you. Next thing you know, you're standing in the kitchen with your d**k in one hand and a multiple shopping list in the other.
 • Rating: Unrated

Shawn: That's the Tommy Gavin we know. You know, punch somebody in the face. That solves everything.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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