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Jill: So you and your brother seem pretty different.
Hank: On a good day, very different.

Evan: So today, we are gonna meet ten women. They're gonna ask us what we do for a living. We're gonna tell them and we're gonna be so charming about it that at least one of them is gonna be interested in your services.
Hank: And the other nine?
Evan: They'll be interested in mine.

(as Boris and his party leaves)
Evan: Whooo, man crush!
Hank: You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.

Kendrick: I'm gonna go squeeze in some passing drills before lunch.
Hank & Lucy: (to Kendrick, in unison) Don't forget to stretch.
Melody: Your dream come true. Mom times two. (fist-bumps with Kendrick)

(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.

(staring at Ms. Newberg's breasts) Uh, you look fantastic, ma'am.


Lucy: I have a plan for that boy, not as a dreamer, but as a mother.
Hank: I know you love your son. But you need to stop fixating on his destiny and start worrying about his life, because he can't be president if he's dead.

Divya: (talking to Evan on the phone) Just soak some hot towels in household vinegar. Apply the compress for 20 minutes two to four times a day. You'll all be fine by next week, although you'll still be an idiot. (hangs up the phone)
Hank: You'd make a great older brother.

You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.

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