(trying to communicate with a chef who only speaks Italian)
Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.

Evan: 1986 called. It wants its shorts back.
Hank: (wearing short shorts) I missed laundry day this week. Cut me some slack.

(Hank runs into Jill in the street with gourmet coffee)
Hank: Is the, uh, hospital coffee really that bad?
Jill: Oh, officially speaking? No, it's delicious. But off the record...
Hank: You could remove nail polish with it.

Evan: Uh, have fun at Sunday brunch, by the way.
Hank: Aww, you're bitter about Hankapalooza.
Evan: No. No, I'm not bitter. Not at all, man. Hank-o-rama. Hankstock!
Hank: Stop doing bad things to my name.

(alighting a golf cart) Note to self -- get a car, preferably one with doors.

Evan

(after Divya asks Evan to translate her words to Valentina)
Divya: Valentina may have TB.
Evan: I'm not getting a disease. Are you kidding me? Especially one I didn't have any fun catching.

(toasting at the restaurant)
Hank: To Allison.
Divya: To Valentina.
Evan: And to two more checks in the mail.

Divya: Here's an idea -- let's have dinner, but absolutely no conversation.
Evan: Yeah, like we're married.

Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.

Royal Pains Season 1 Episode 4 Quotes

Evan: 1986 called. It wants its shorts back.
Hank: (wearing short shorts) I missed laundry day this week. Cut me some slack.

Divya: Tell her it won't take long.
Evan: (in very bad Italian) The clock, it will not last long.