Wednesdays 9:00 PM on USA
Royal-pains

Zoey: You never assumed I was crazy. Gave me the benefit of the doubt. Most people wouldn't have, Hank.
Hank: Yeah, well, more people should be like us. And less people should be like most people.

So do you think I'm gonna turn into, like, a, an old school Bela Lugosi type or maybe, like, a hip, sexy Twilight vampire with like the (puckers lips and makes kissy face) and, like, the cool hair or what?

Evan

(to Hank and Evan) Anyway, I am so glad that you both came...'cause I may need you to stand by with a getaway vehicle.

Divya

Amy: Do you have any idea what it's like to be given way more responsibility than you ever asked for? Way more than you ever deserved?
Hank: When I was 12, my mom got sick. My dad, he lost all our money in the stock market, couldn't afford to take care of her. So he gave up, on her, on us and he left. And then our mom died. I know exactly what it's like. Being the older sibling one day and then feeling like a parent the next. You do anything you can to protect the only thing you have left.

Evan: So that's a long island iced tea.
Amy: House specialty. I make them every day for family cocktail hour.
Evan: Really?
Zoey: Apparently, spirits calm the spirits.

Amy: Someone close to you. Someone who looks like you. Someone with a letter 'R.'
Hank: My brother. Evan R. Lawson?
Amy: He's getting himself into trouble.
Hank: Sorry, Amy, you don't need a gift to sense that one.

Divya: You want to do the spinal tap tonight?
Hank: And that's not all I want to do. There may be only one way to get to the bottom of this immediately.
(Divya and Evan at the same time)
Divya: MRI?
Evan: Exorcism?

Evan: Why don't you just summon the apparitions?
Divya: Okay, why are you asking me?
Evan: Because you're Indian. Maybe some of the rituals translate, right?
Divya: Wait a second. You think that Hinduism and Wicca are overlapping ideologies?
Evan: I'm just thinkin' outside the box.
Divya: You're a bloody neanderthal.

Zoey: My sister's a little off-center sometimes.
Hank: Oh, I know how you feel. My brother couldn't find the center with a GPS Device.

Displaying quotes 19 - 27 of 106 in total