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Royal-pains

So do you think I'm gonna turn into, like, a, an old school Bela Lugosi type or maybe, like, a hip, sexy Twilight vampire with like the (puckers lips and makes kissy face) and, like, the cool hair or what?

Evan

Evan: So that's a long island iced tea.
Amy: House specialty. I make them every day for family cocktail hour.
Evan: Really?
Zoey: Apparently, spirits calm the spirits.

Divya: Hank, this is Kylie.
Kylie: I'm the disgruntled mistress.
Hank: Hello. Nice to meet you.
Kylie: It's 'cause I didn't go to college and I hate retail.

Divya: (to Evan) You saw those zeros on that check and lost all ability to think.
Captain Brian: In his defense, it was a lot of zeros.

Gary Pastotnik? That guy is like Satan, only more evil.

Evan

(Hank about to meet the people who fired him)
Jill: Just talk to them human being to human being.
Hank: I would, I'm just not sure they are human beings.

Divya: He's you. Uninterested in anything beneath a woman's surface.
Evan: I try to see beneath their surface. That's why I stare so hard.

Evan: what are you doing tomorrow?
Anna: Uh, it's my first day off. Nothing. I'm sleeping.
Evan: Do it with me. The-- the nothing part. Obviously not-- not the sleeping part.

(after Hank convinced Marshall Bryant to get clean from alcohol and drugs)
Marshall: Well, Hank deserves credit for leading me to water.
Hank: Hey, I can lead the horse, but I can't make him drink... or not drink. You know what I'm saying.

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