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Royal-pains

(about Evan) There's no stopping him when he's like this. The bylaws for our treehouse were 8 pages long...and it was an imaginary treehouse.

Hank

Oh well, some days I have the mo. Some days I have the jo. And some days, I even put them together.

Zach Kingsley

Julie Kingsley: (to her husband) Cut veggies, tea, and a Hank are no substitute for a hospital.
Hank: The Hank tried to tell him that.

(to Evan) Be quiet. Be professional. Be-have. But mostly be quiet.

Divya

Alan Rider: You said your business is discreet?
Evan: Oh, yeah. HankMed invented discretion, man. We're just, you know, too discreet to publicize it.

Divya: People pay to be treated, not coddled. And I don't give a tinker's curse for your marketing drivel.
Evan: I can't debate you if you talk gibberish that sounds kind of like something a chimney sweep from Mary Poppins would say, but you can't cure him unless you win his trust first.

Divya: Will that be sufficient?
Alan Rider: Delightful. On behalf of me and my genitals, thank you.

Zach Kingsley: I can't afford to play Russian roulette with our livelihood.
Hank: Well, you're playing Russian roulette with your life.

Alan Rider: So what are you gonna check for now?
Divya: Epididymitis or testicular orchitis.
Alan Rider: Uh, neither of those sounds any good.
Divya: I don't name them. I just treat them.

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