Royal Pains Season 1 Quotes
(toasting at the restaurant)
Hank: To Allison.
Divya: To Valentina.
Evan: And to two more checks in the mail.
(after Divya asks Evan to translate her words to Valentina)
Divya: Valentina may have TB.
Evan: I'm not getting a disease. Are you kidding me? Especially one I didn't have any fun catching.
(alighting a golf cart) Note to self -- get a car, preferably one with doors.
Evan
Evan: Uh, have fun at Sunday brunch, by the way.
Hank: Aww, you're bitter about Hankapalooza.
Evan: No. No, I'm not bitter. Not at all, man. Hank-o-rama. Hankstock!
Hank: Stop doing bad things to my name.
Evan: 1986 called. It wants its shorts back.
Hank: (wearing short shorts) I missed laundry day this week. Cut me some slack.
Lucy: I have a plan for that boy, not as a dreamer, but as a mother.
Hank: I know you love your son. But you need to stop fixating on his destiny and start worrying about his life, because he can't be president if he's dead.
Jill: So you and your brother seem pretty different.
Hank: On a good day, very different.
Divya: (talking to Evan on the phone) Just soak some hot towels in household vinegar. Apply the compress for 20 minutes two to four times a day. You'll all be fine by next week, although you'll still be an idiot. (hangs up the phone)
Hank: You'd make a great older brother.
(staring at Ms. Newberg's breasts) Uh, you look fantastic, ma'am.
Evan
(as Evan runs into Jill in the street)
Evan: Hey, don't I know you?
Jill: They just don't make pickup lines like they used to.
Evan: I have been labeled a progressive.
Kendrick: I'm gonna go squeeze in some passing drills before lunch.
Hank & Lucy: (to Kendrick, in unison) Don't forget to stretch.
Melody: Your dream come true. Mom times two. (fist-bumps with Kendrick)
(as Boris and his party leaves)
Evan: Whooo, man crush!
Hank: You're seduced by anyone with an entourage.
