I am better at starting relationships than deepening them.


Jill: So what was it like to watch your little brother get married?
Hank: It was weird. To me he's still the kid who ate $.85 in nickels on a dare.

Evan: Why don't we just put two tables together—
Paige: They're round! You can't push to two round tables together, it won't work!

FYI not good for business when the doctor looks sick.


Eddie R. [about Hank's cell phone]: Really, Hank, On Hannukah?
Hank: I am so sorry, Rabbi Lawson!

Is there a condition known as mental frostbite?

Evan [of Paige]

You know what they say, when you marry someone you're not marrying their family.... oh, wait, you are marrying their family. I am terribly sorry...

Divya [to Paige]

Did we lose our minds?

Divya [to Rafa]

Owen: I know you're thinking that Owen has gained a few pounds since the last time you saw him. But I want you to know, I am on The Lipitor.
Hank: Do you know that The Lipitor is not the substitute for the good eating habits?

That's not appropriate Ken, that's not appropriate.......


Shadow Pond—I'm being summoned.


We were discussing Harper's mad volleyball skills.


Royal Pains Season 4 Quotes

Something around here has got to stay the way it should be.


I was clinging to my past instead of looking at my future.