Sam: Mom, I am not going to spend my Sunday night making some mother feel bad about her child.
Regina: Why not? You...do it every other day.

Sam: Just relax, alright? This is good. Everyone will assume that the car was stolen out of the driveway overnight, and the insurance will buy a new one, so no one gets in trouble. More importantly, my dad will think that he can trust me.
(car is pushed into the lake, sinking)
Dena: Even though he can't.

Andrea: Guess who cracked like an egg?
Sam (shooing Andrea and Dena aside): No no no, get get get. Dena. What happened to a lifetime of keeping things inside?
Dena(about Andrea grilling her as to what she and Sam were hiding): Her questions were really hard. And plus I really enjoyed her finally taking an interest in me. (laughs) Nice scarf.
Sam: Thanks. It's also a casual skirt.

Dena(on the face Sam is making: Oooh, that's the scary face she made at the lake. Bad Sam is back.
Andrea: Oh, there's my baby girl! Oh, it's good to see you!

Regina(calling from other room): Samantha!
Dena: Ooh, what are you gonna do?
Sam: Right now, I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna smile, turn this tube top into a turban, and then I'm gonna ruin her life.

Samantha Who? Season 1 Episode 8 Quotes

Dena(on the face Sam is making: Oooh, that's the scary face she made at the lake. Bad Sam is back.
Andrea: Oh, there's my baby girl! Oh, it's good to see you!

Regina(calling from other room): Samantha!
Dena: Ooh, what are you gonna do?
Sam: Right now, I'm gonna go in there, I'm gonna smile, turn this tube top into a turban, and then I'm gonna ruin her life.