Season 1, Episode 6: "The Hypnotherapist"
Sam: I'm very hungry, but I keep starting fires.• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Regina: Remember when you wanted a trampoline until you hit your head on a beehive?
Samantha: Why would you put a trampoline underneath a beehive?
Regina: To stop you from jumping too high!
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Todd: What are you doing? Don't you know you're not supposed to put metal in the microwave?
Samantha: Well I do now! I think that something that important they'd got it written on there or something.
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Season 1, Episode 5: " The Restraining Order"
Sam: Is it our song?Todd: No. We, we didn't have a song. Every time I suggested one, you laughed at me and asked me if I was on my period.
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Sam: I can't believe you, Andrea. How could you not tell about this? I mean, you call me at midnight to tell me to get my eyebrows waxed, but my restraining order just, like, slips your mind?!
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Dena: Speed it up, old man! I'm driving a piece of crap, what's your excuse?!
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Sam: There is not an amnesia strong enough to erase the memory of last week's Tai Chi exercises.
Regina: I told you, I thought it was supposed to be done naked. How long do I have to keep apologizing?
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Samantha: Okay, first of all, I'm not dating Todd, and second of all, I'm not chasing him, I just tracked him down to tell him, that I'm not stalking him.
Regina: I'm never getting grand kids, am I?
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Season 1, Episode 4: "The Virgin"
Frank: And... how are you today?Samantha: How am I? I'm virgin, that's how I am!
Frank: Yes madam... and I'm a pirate! Shall I call you a cab?
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Andrea: Listen to me, listen to me. You are ready for this. You look fabulous, the pond is deep, the fish are biting!
Dena (suddenly appearing): Well, hello!
Andrea: But then a boat motors through...
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Total Quotes: 78
