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Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were, in fact the wall in which you're leaning against. Of course then you'd be providing some jackass with a wall in which to lean against and reflect on what a jackass he truely is. I know, here it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it. I'll tackle that one right upstairs, in the meantime, you could atleast pretend to be doing some work, and right about know, even though you don't have your basket, aw it's just a terrific time for you to skip away Shirley, skip away, skip away, go head, skip away. Skip, skip, skip to my Lou woo!

Dr. Cox

J.D.: Holy inferiority complex Batman! How low is my self esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
Turk: It could be worse. You could be Alfred the butler.
J.D.: Damn you, sir

J.D.: We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples...
Ted: Why should they be happy!?

I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.

Elliot

Turk: Dude, the only difference between a black girl and a white girl is that when a black girl asks you if her ass looks big?
J.D.: Uh-huh?
Turk: You say, "Hell yeah!"

There's my big box of failure. Oh Santa, you got my letters you fat bastard.

Dr. Cox

J.D.: You're dangerous aren't you?
Drew: Yes I am.
J.D.: I bet you listen to rap music.

Denise: Why you moping around like a tiny girl bitch?
Turk: Wow, can't you ever be like "hi," or even better, "what's up?"
Denise: Sure, what's up tiny girl bitch?

J.D.'s narration: A wise man once said the human spirit can overcome any obstacle.
J.D.: I can't.
Elliot: Come on!
J.D.'s narration: That man had obviously never run a triathlon.

Denise: So, you and me. We're gonna have a stupid jar. Everytime you say something stupid, we're gonna put a nickel in that jar and when it gets nice and full, we're going to beat you with it.
Cole: Dude, how much fun is she in the sack?
Drew: More scary than fun.

Sunny: Oh, he's finally gone. Talk about making a big deal over nothing, you know? I mean, Dr. Dorian was fine, but he was no better than any other doctor.
Dr. Cox: For the record, he was the best that ever came through this dump. John Dorian was the first and only doctor I ever met who cared as much as I do. And you can forget about him being a just and exceptional physician, because the fact of the matter is, he's a damn exceptional person. It's why people gravitated to him. It's why I did. He was my friend.
J.D. [appears from behind Cox]: Thank you, God. That - was - beautiful.
Dr. Cox: Oh, God, no.
J.D.: It's okay, Perry, you just said how you feel! Honestly, I am so full of your love right now, I literally could not take another drop. Brace yourself, I'm coming in.
[J.D. hugs Dr. Cox]
J.D.: You smell like a father figure.
Dr. Cox: Oh! Please stop.
J.D.: Mmmmmm...

Dr. Cox: Ahhh, damn. I missed the annual sleep-over, didn't I? That wonderful time of year when you two crazy kids throw caution to the wind and make sweet, elbowy love to each other. Don't you be shy! You can tell Uncle Coxie about the naught-aye!
Elliot: Dr. Cox, I lost my apartment, and so I was just...needing a place to stay.
Dr. Cox: So, you went over to your "friend's" house, and cried on his shoulder - boo-hoo, wah - and you, of course, comforted her because she was weak and vulnerable, and blah... blah... blah... nerdy sex. The end. Dear Lord, Laverne, how in God's name do you listen to this crap all day long?
Laverne: Are you kidding? If he turns out to be her brother, this is better than my stories!

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 4008 in total

Scrubs Quotes

J.D.: My man Turk, is getting it daily and nightly and ever so rightly! Ah! What up, dogg!
J.D.'s narration: Once every 4.2 seconds a man says something stupid that a woman hears and punishes him for... luckily, this wasn't one of those times.
Carla: What did you just say?
J.D.: "What up...dogg?"

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.

J.D.