J.D. [about Turk]: You know if I was married to him I'd be a lot more supportive
Carla: You know you said that out loud, right?
J.D.: I'm not ashamed of who I am!

I never want to have kids, I just want to adopt a short old guy

Janitor

J.D.: I am not a girl! What's this show, is it new?
Turk: It's SportsCenter, dude

J.D.: You're gonna go in there and be completely honest
Turk: Is that all you got? I've been a doctor for more than ten minutes

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