Cole: Hey, you got any of those weiner pills?
Kelso: Who do you think you're talking to son? I'll give you one for $10.
Cole: You got change for a $20?
Kelso: Nope. [takes money] We'll drop a couple of these bad boys and go trolling for ladies at the airport bar.
Cole: Will you be my grandpa?

J.D.: They need me.
Cox: Do they? I remember not holding your smooth, baby hands and you didn't turn out that bad.

There's my big box of failure. Oh Santa, you got my letters you fat bastard.

Dr. Cox

Turk: Okay, let me hack into the medical school files.
J.D.: You can hack?
Turk: No I have a password. It sounded cooler.

Lucy: Cole, will you please be my blood buddy?
Cole: Sorry baby, no can do, I have small baby veins. It has something to do with my mom eating blow fish during the third tri-mom.

Turk: It's your last day of teaching, what do you want to do?
J.D.: I don't know, old friend. I've left so many times, I've come back so many times. Even I'm confused. I think we're going to have to sit this one out.

J.D.: Part of me will always be with you, here [touches head] and here [touches stomach].
Lucy: My stomach?
J.D.: I would have touched your heart, but I did that to another female student once and it resulted in me watching a four hour video called "boundaries."

Scrubs Season 9 Episode 5 Quotes

Turk: It's your last day of teaching, what do you want to do?
J.D.: I don't know, old friend. I've left so many times, I've come back so many times. Even I'm confused. I think we're going to have to sit this one out.

J.D.: Part of me will always be with you, here [touches head] and here [touches stomach].
Lucy: My stomach?
J.D.: I would have touched your heart, but I did that to another female student once and it resulted in me watching a four hour video called "boundaries."