Ooh motel sex? It's like I'm a senator and your a tobacco lobbyist. We should arrive separately.

J.D.

J.D.: Denise brought some non-alcholic beer.
Denise: Yeah, I got it for this dude I'm railing, he used to be an alky.
Drew: Not an appropriate time to bring all that up, but there it is.
Cole: And I brought some sensual body chocolate. What's the situation with the big old D's? Got any milk yet?

Cox: I mean around here, you just can't let your work and personal life overlap.
Denise: Yeah, that was always Ally McBeal's problem too. It's so hard being a working woman in the 90s.

Elliot, do you think there's a Patrick Dempsey movie I haven't seen?

J.D.

Elliot: Turk also said that Knight Rider is a documentary.
J.D.: It's based on fact, everyone knows that.

Drew: You haven't done any cutting on the cadaver yet.
Lucy: I can't wait to get in there.
Cole: Hells yeah. My woman's gonna go all Edward Scissorhands on his ass. I'm making a hedge.
Drew: Is he really good in bed?
Lucy: He'd have to be.
Drew: I'd hope so for your sake.

Lucy: Drew, we haven't really connected yet.
Drew: Nope.
Lucy: Is this because I slept with Cole I invalidated myself as a person?
Drew: Pretty much.
Lucy: I get that.

J.D.: All the baby books say we'll be back to our normal sex life in about six weeks.
Turk: Those baby books are filled with lies. You don't know, it's crazy. You're gonna be changing diapers covered in spit up. You're not gonna have sex for a long, long, long time.
J.D.: No hide the penny?
Turk: No.
no me girl, you boy
Turk: No.
J.D.: No dirty Zulu warrior?
Turk: No, and that one's racist.
J.D.: There'll still be cuddling, right? Please tell me there'll be cuddling. I'm a man, I have needs.
Turk: She'll have a baby to cuddle with.
Turk: That bastard.

Jordan: You know that bag of bones my sister Danny married? He died, she got nothing.
Cox: Bert died?
Jodran: You're not listening. Danny got nothing. You need to do your will so I can get all your stuff.

Let's just avoid the breast region. They're big, but they are not for touching - too sore. And let's just avoid the thighs; they sort of feel like memory foam, they leave a hand print. And I have the elbows of a 75 year old black man.

Elliot

Elliot: What is that?
J.D.: It's our baby's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?

Displaying all 11 quotes

Scrubs Season 9 Episode 9 Quotes

Let's just avoid the breast region. They're big, but they are not for touching - too sore. And let's just avoid the thighs; they sort of feel like memory foam, they leave a hand print. And I have the elbows of a 75 year old black man.

Elliot

Elliot: What is that?
J.D.: It's our baby's crib.
Elliot: It looks like a trap. You trying to catch someone else's baby?

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