J.D.: Hey Tubby!
Carla: Oh J.D., I want you to feel the baby, come here quick!
(J.D. leans in to feel, at which point Carla smacks J.D.'s ears)
Don't call me tubby!
J.D.'s Narration: Pregnant witch!

Carla: Look, I feel like I can give you a list of things that are sucky about being pregnant. For starters, I am now horny as I have ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.
Turk: Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes so tight and then do you.
Carla: Thank you for the sacrifice.
Turk: It's because I love you.

(On the phone) No mom! Playpen and baby cage is not like "toe-may-toe toe-mah-toe."

Janitor

I pooped in my bed so I put it on the TV.

Jack

J.D.: Gloria, I need you to change the dressing on Mr. Curnses wound.
Gloria: And I need you to suck it!
J.D.: Wow Gloria! Do you kiss your great great great great great grand kids with that mouth? Zoom Zoom Zoom!

Why does your TV smell like doo-doo?

Turk

Kim: See ya round six, wear something slutty. Zoom, zoom, zoom!
J.D.:It's mine.

Elliot: Tell me every detail about the first date.
Kim: We went horseback riding on the beach.
Elliot: Ah yes, I have been on that date.
Kim: Oh really?
J.D.: What? I had a coupon.

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.

J.D.

Head loves karaoke.

J.D.

Kim: Well I'm up for anything. I married my high school boyfriend, so the only first date I ever went on was in tenth grade. It began with me sitting in the back seat of his Miata because his friend Benny called shotgun and ended with us going to the arcade to, and I quote, "eat pizza and beat up nerds." And I married that guy.
J.D.: Well trust me, Kim, I've beaten up many nerds in my day. But tonight's about you having the very best first date ever.
Kim: Alright, sluggah!
Elliot/J.D.: Byyyeee.
Elliot: You don't have anything planned do you?
J.D.: You had to soil the whole food court thing. It's Veal Picatta Night at Sbarros.

Dr. Cox: Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh-in on pregnancy sex?
Dr. Kelso: It's a freak show.

Displaying quotes 37 - 48 of 4008 in total

Scrubs Quotes

And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.

J.D.

I think there's a tchotchke in my bum.

Julie
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