J.D.: I have to get ready man. I want my date with Kim to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?
Turk: Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.
J.D.: Yeah but except this time with two horses.
J.D.: Gloria, I need you to change the dressing on Mr. Curnses wound.
Gloria: And I need you to suck it!
J.D.: Wow Gloria! Do you kiss your great great great great great grand kids with that mouth? Zoom Zoom Zoom!
Carla: Huh? Ya like that?
Todd: I felt it move.
Carla: Todd, you're touching your crotch.
Todd: I know, and I'm loving it.
Carla: Look, I feel like I can give you a list of things that are sucky about being pregnant. For starters, I am now horny as I have ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.
Turk: Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes so tight and then do you.
Carla: Thank you for the sacrifice.
Turk: It's because I love you.
Elliot: Tell me every detail about the first date.
Kim: We went horseback riding on the beach.
Elliot: Ah yes, I have been on that date.
Kim: Oh really?
J.D.: What? I had a coupon.
Carla: Thank you! Is this for when we buy the baby a dog?
Janitor: No! It's a baby cage! It's a good one too! See? When I was a kid, mine didn't have these windows! It's perfect! When you want to go out to dinner, it's already got a water bottle in it, so you just throw in some cedar chips in there so the baby can poop... you're made in the shade!
Janitor: I'm kidding! It's for when they buy the baby a.. uh.. uh.. a puppy!
Carla: It is ok, don't get up. I got it!
Carla: It's only your child.
Why does your TV smell like doo-doo?Turk
J.D.: You do the Zoom Zoom?
Kim: Of course. I invented the Zoom Zoom.
J.D.'s Narration: Liar!
It's springtime at Sacred Heart and the whole hospital has that end of the year smell. (J.D. sniffs nurse's hair and cringes)J.D.'s narration
Dr. Cox: Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh-in on pregnancy sex?
Dr. Kelso: It's a freak show.
Listen up, Interns! Notice the definition in the upper calf. (Lifts pant leg to reveal his oddly youthful legs) Look at it, damnit! See that. Back in 'Nam the choppers used to hover about eight feet over my head and I'd jump in. You should have seen the look on Charlie's face. (To Rex) Not the enemy, son. The pilot, Charlie-horse. Great guy. He didn't make it back. Where's the cake?Dr. Kelso