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J.D.: Two and a half weeks is too long to wait for a third date.
Kim: I'm pregnant.
J.D.: What now?
- Permalink: Two and a half weeks is too long to wait for a third date. I'm...
Kim: So, Josh, you are suffering from a condition called phimosis. It's basically a hardening of your foreskin. As part of your treatment, I'm going to ask that you masturbate five times a week.
J.D.'s narration: Help the poor kid out...
J.D.: Wow five times a week, huh? For me that would be cutting back!
J.D.'s narration: He said in front of his future girlfriend.
J.D.: You know what? I should probably mosey.
- Permalink: So, Josh, you are suffering from a condition called phimosis. It...
Why does your TV smell like doo-doo?Turk
- Permalink: Why does your TV smell like doo-doo?
I pooped in my bed so I put it on the TV.Jack
- Permalink: I pooped in my bed so I put it on the TV.
Carla: Thank you! Is this for when we buy the baby a dog?
Janitor: No! It's a baby cage! It's a good one too! See? When I was a kid, mine didn't have these windows! It's perfect! When you want to go out to dinner, it's already got a water bottle in it, so you just throw in some cedar chips in there so the baby can poop... you're made in the shade!
Janitor: I'm kidding! It's for when they buy the baby a.. uh.. uh.. a puppy!
- Permalink: Thank you! Is this for when we buy the baby a dog? No! It's a ...
Kim: See ya round six, wear something slutty. Zoom, zoom, zoom!
- Permalink: See ya round six, wear something slutty. Zoom, zoom, zoom! It's...
Jack: I made poopy in the potty.
Dr. Cox: You know, son, as a doctor I spend a lot of my day dealing with other people's poop, and I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie, it gets old. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed the last three years of waking up to a fresh brown trout in your Huggies besides you'll be doing the same thing for me some day real soon. Yet, aside from actually seeing you being born and the time Wayne Gretzky said 'what's up' to me in the line at the bank, you being out of diapers is the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. It truly is. Now why don't you go into your room and play for a little while because your mom and I are going to celebrate up here, grown-up style.
- Permalink: I made poopy in the potty. You know, son, as a doctor I spend ...
Elliot: Tell me every detail about the first date.
Kim: We went horseback riding on the beach.
Elliot: Ah yes, I have been on that date.
Kim: Oh really?
J.D.: What? I had a coupon.
- Permalink: Tell me every detail about the first date. We went horseback r...
And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine affection - classic Dorian.J.D.
- Permalink: And there it was, the moment where pity was turning into genuine...
Listen up, Interns! Notice the definition in the upper calf. (Lifts pant leg to reveal his oddly youthful legs) Look at it, damnit! See that. Back in 'Nam the choppers used to hover about eight feet over my head and I'd jump in. You should have seen the look on Charlie's face. (To Rex) Not the enemy, son. The pilot, Charlie-horse. Great guy. He didn't make it back. Where's the cake?Dr. Kelso
- Permalink: Listen up, Interns! Notice the definition in the upper calf. L...
It's springtime at Sacred Heart and the whole hospital has that end of the year smell. (J.D. sniffs nurse's hair and cringes)J.D.'s narration
- Permalink: It's springtime at Sacred Heart and the whole hospital has that ...
Kim: Well I'm up for anything. I married my high school boyfriend, so the only first date I ever went on was in tenth grade. It began with me sitting in the back seat of his Miata because his friend Benny called shotgun and ended with us going to the arcade to, and I quote, "eat pizza and beat up nerds." And I married that guy.
J.D.: Well trust me, Kim, I've beaten up many nerds in my day. But tonight's about you having the very best first date ever.
Kim: Alright, sluggah!
Elliot: You don't have anything planned do you?
J.D.: You had to soil the whole food court thing. It's Veal Picatta Night at Sbarros.
- Permalink: Well I'm up for anything. I married my high school boyfriend, so...