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Kim: See ya round six, wear something slutty. Zoom, zoom, zoom!
- Permalink: See ya round six, wear something slutty. Zoom, zoom, zoom! It's...
Kim: So, Josh, you are suffering from a condition called phimosis. It's basically a hardening of your foreskin. As part of your treatment, I'm going to ask that you masturbate five times a week.
J.D.'s narration: Help the poor kid out...
J.D.: Wow five times a week, huh? For me that would be cutting back!
J.D.'s narration: He said in front of his future girlfriend.
J.D.: You know what? I should probably mosey.
- Permalink: So, Josh, you are suffering from a condition called phimosis. It...
I hate cleaning up after those messy old queens. Oooh, appletini, when did they start drinking straight guy drinks?J.D.'s Narration
- Permalink: I hate cleaning up after those messy old queens. Oooh, appletini...
J.D.: I was going to make you dinner and then go to karaoke but I don't know how to do both the same night...Unless of course...
Elliot: J.D., not floating head doctor.
J.D.: Too late, I'm already there.
- Permalink: I was going to make you dinner and then go to karaoke but I don'...
I pooped in my bed so I put it on the TV.Jack
- Permalink: I pooped in my bed so I put it on the TV.
Jack: I made poopy in the potty.
Dr. Cox: You know, son, as a doctor I spend a lot of my day dealing with other people's poop, and I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie, it gets old. That's not to say that I haven't enjoyed the last three years of waking up to a fresh brown trout in your Huggies besides you'll be doing the same thing for me some day real soon. Yet, aside from actually seeing you being born and the time Wayne Gretzky said 'what's up' to me in the line at the bank, you being out of diapers is the best damn thing that has ever happened to me. It truly is. Now why don't you go into your room and play for a little while because your mom and I are going to celebrate up here, grown-up style.
- Permalink: I made poopy in the potty. You know, son, as a doctor I spend ...
Elliot: Tell me every detail about the first date.
Kim: We went horseback riding on the beach.
Elliot: Ah yes, I have been on that date.
Kim: Oh really?
J.D.: What? I had a coupon.
- Permalink: Tell me every detail about the first date. We went horseback r...
Dr. Cox: Please forgive me, but since I had a vasectomy last year, nay two vasectomies, I feel... I feel I just have to ask. Did you cheat on me?
Jordan: No. And you know me; I always tell.
Dr. Cox: Ah that's true.
- Permalink: Please forgive me, but since I had a vasectomy last year, nay tw...
Elliot Reid - Moment KillerJ.D.'s Narration
- Permalink: Elliot Reid - Moment Killer
Head loves karaoke.J.D.
- Permalink: Head loves karaoke.
Dr. Cox: Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh-in on pregnancy sex?
Dr. Kelso: It's a freak show.
- Permalink: Say, Bobbo, you wanna weigh-in on pregnancy sex? It's a freak ...
Kim: Well I'm up for anything. I married my high school boyfriend, so the only first date I ever went on was in tenth grade. It began with me sitting in the back seat of his Miata because his friend Benny called shotgun and ended with us going to the arcade to, and I quote, "eat pizza and beat up nerds." And I married that guy.
J.D.: Well trust me, Kim, I've beaten up many nerds in my day. But tonight's about you having the very best first date ever.
Kim: Alright, sluggah!
Elliot: You don't have anything planned do you?
J.D.: You had to soil the whole food court thing. It's Veal Picatta Night at Sbarros.
- Permalink: Well I'm up for anything. I married my high school boyfriend, so...