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J.D.: I finally figured out what bothered me so much about you.
Kim: Well, lay it on me, studly.
J.D.: It's the way you're so concerned about protecting yourself. I mean, no one in this entire hospital has a bad thing to say about you, and I'm guessing that's because you're so careful not to rub anyone the wrong way. You still wear your wedding ring, that prevents any guy from getting anywhere near ya. You wouldn't operate on Mr. Peters, and we both know how you're protecting yourself there. I dunno, I guess in the grand scheme of things it's not that big a deal. I just, I was a little disappointed to find out who you turned out to be.
J.D.'s thoughts: I guess people can always surprise you.
- Permalink: I finally figured out what bothered me so much about you. Well...
Elliot: Did you enjoyed that pancakes that I left on your computer?
Carla: No, but I enjoyed that 3000 ants crawling on my keyboard.
Todd: There are two of them doing it on the 'F' button. I could be wrong but it looks like two girls.
- Permalink: Did you enjoyed that pancakes that I left on your computer? No...
Elliot: I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?
Turk: She's pregnant, she's not a bull.
- Permalink: I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her? She'...
J.D.: Gift Shop Girl?
Lisa: Hey J.D.
J.D.: I thought you died.
Lisa: No, I just got married.
J.D.: But I sent your family flowers.
Lisa: I know. You bought them from me. It was kind of weird.
- Permalink: Gift Shop Girl? Hey J.D. I thought you died. No, I just go...
Dr. Kelso: Listen up, name-tags!! I need to wire some cash to my son so we can make bail. Apparently, that musical he was producing was just a front for a crystal meth lab. And heres the kicker: he fled to Toronto so now the freakin' Mounties are involved!!
- Permalink: He fled to Toronto so now the freakin' Mounties are involved!!
J.D.: Here comes Kim. She has had all night to think about what she did so she will probably be in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it!
Kim: Hey fellas! How are you living?
Turk: Large. (To J.D.) WHAT!? What? Was I not supposed to answer?
- Permalink: Here comes Kim. She has had all night to think about what she di...
Carla: Baby look at this, I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant lady.
Turk: No you're not, baby. You look like you just let yourself go a little.
(Carla begins to cry uncontrollably)
Turk: This past few days your moods have changed like that!
Carla: That is not true!
(Carla slaps the hell out of him)
Turk: That's cool...
Carla: I'm sorry. Let me kiss that owee. Kiss the owee... Baby...oh baby... I wanna do it right now.
Turk: You don't wanna do it right now? This'll pass.
Carla: This is happening.
Turk: Damn right this is happening.
(Turk begins to remove his clothes and Carla sits down)
Carla: My mom. I can't believe she'll never meet her grandchild.
Turk: Do you wanna start out with kissing or should we go right into the good stuff?
Carla: What is wrong with you?
(Carla pushes him over a table)
Turk: When will you learn?
- Permalink: Baby look at this, I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant ...
Dr. Cox: When was the last time you ever met a cutter who didn't want to cut? Laverne! You have been here 40 years now, have you ever heard such a thing?
Laverne: I'm going to kill somebody!
- Permalink: When was the last time you ever met a cutter who didn't want to ...
This is why the headache didn't go away, it is actually pronounced 'analgesic', not 'ANALgesic'. The pills go into your mouth.Turk
- Permalink: This is why the headache didn't go away, it is actually pronounc...
Janitor: Hey, we solved your stupid game.
Troy: Yeah, we have been to the libary.
Janitor: ...'brary' Troy, library.
- Permalink: Hey, we solved your stupid game. Yeah, we have been to the lib...
Patient: How was Acapulco?
Elliot: We told everyone that you were in Acapulco.
Dr. Cox: I never went to Acapulco. I lost three patients and spent the last two weeks on my couch trying to drink myself to death so that my victims and I could be reunited in the afterlife and they could rightly have their vengeance but then I realized that tactic would never work as I would be sent straight to hell, which I imagine is a lot like Acapulco only there would be fewer Latin men trying to sell me Chiclets on the beach. All the best.
- Permalink: How was Acapulco? We told everyone that you were in Acapulco. ...
I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.Elliot
- Permalink: I started an I hate Cox chat room. It didn't work out the way I ...