Scrubs

Scrubs Quotes (Page 6)

Season 9 Episode 3: "Our Role Models"

J.D.: Perry, you finally found someone to believe in. Don't ruin it by being you.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Turk [about J.D.]: Don't let him put on the glitter.
Cox: I've never heard that sentence uttered by another man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Why is the college mascot an owlcat? I don't even know what an owlcat is.
J.D.: I like to think it's what happens when an owl and a cat fall in love.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D.: Do you know what the perfect super power would be?
J.D. and Turk: Candy hands!
Cox: For me it would be getting back the time I wasted on people that would one day let me down.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Denise: Is there anyway you can change your entire personality?
Cole: I can try.
Denise: Even the way you said that annoyed me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cole: Careful walking on the tracks, cause there's a Cole train coming.. choo choo.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucy [to Cole]: You have small but surprisingly powerful hands and almost no beard. It's like you were created in a lab for a woman's pleasure.
 • Rating: Unrated

Cole: Normally I like to sleep in, but part of me is an early riser.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Drew: It's beautiful. Honestly, the nicest shirt I've ever received from a grown married man.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 9 Episode 2: "Our Drunk Friend"

Lucy: Great class, Doctor D! Even better than the one you did with interpretive dance.
J.D.: Thanks, Lucy. I like to call it "teacher-tainment". Now, be a doll and go give Dr. Turk a message ASAP. Tell him Dr. Dorian is stuck in the tree again, but this time there are many bees. Hurry, Lucy, I have honey hair!
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise [to Cole]: I don't know what Orlando-based boy band rejected you, but you do what I tell you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox [about alcoholic patient, Alan]: Hopefully he's gonna die someplace else, like in a yard or somebody's shed.
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: Let's go grab that drink.
Drew: I don't really drink anymore.
Denise: Good, then you can drive.
Drew: I don't really drive either.
Denise: You're weird, I like that.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

J.D. [about Cole's mother]: You're gonna hit that, aren't you?
Kelso: Like a big rig with no breaks.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lucy: Antonio Sabatto Jr., my safely ethnic dream boat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: I'd watch a show with the Fonzi and a gremlin.
J.D.: Fonzi couldn't take care of a gremlin, he's too busy being cool.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D. [about Denise and Drew]: You're both dark weirdoes. It's like if Fonzie and Jo from The Facts of Life fell in love with each other.
Turk: I'd watch the hell out of that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucy: I've never seen myself naked. I've been naked before, but I never looked down before.
J.D.: That's weird for a doctor.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucy: I've been hiding from my teacher, it's a little game we play.
Andy: Really?
Lucy: No, you can win at games.
 • Rating: Unrated

J.D.: You're dangerous aren't you?
Drew: Yes I am.
J.D.: I bet you listen to rap music.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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