And then the ultimate Cox-block.

J.D.

J.D.: Gift Shop Girl?
Lisa: Hey J.D.
J.D.: I thought you died.
Lisa: No, I just got married.
J.D.: But I sent your family flowers.
Lisa: I know. You bought them from me. It was kind of weird.

J.D.: Here comes Kim. She has had all night to think about what she did so she will probably be in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it!
Kim: Hey fellas! How are you living?
Turk: Large. (To J.D.) WHAT!? What? Was I not supposed to answer?

Dr. Kelso: You know the difference between you and me, Dorian?
J.D.: Your melon-sized prostate, sir?

Dr. Cox: When was the last time you ever met a cutter who didn't want to cut? Laverne! You have been here 40 years now, have you ever heard such a thing?
Laverne: I'm going to kill somebody!

Kim: This is the length of the average penis.
J.D.'s thoughts: What?!
Patient: That seems about right.
Kim: Good for you! I was just messing with J.D.
J.D.: You know what, I'm not talking to any of you guys. You're lying...! (J.D. checks patient's penis) Oh my God!

I'll do it. I shouldn't be mopping in here anyway...this is a rug.

Janitor

Elliot: Did you enjoyed that pancakes that I left on your computer?
Carla: No, but I enjoyed that 3000 ants crawling on my keyboard.
Todd: There are two of them doing it on the 'F' button. I could be wrong but it looks like two girls.

Troy: Oh, your face is red like a 'strawbrary'.
Janitor: Don't have kids.

J.D.: (Looking at his destroyed bicycle) What the hell?!
Janitor: (Holding a softball bat) Its a riddle. Two guys destroyed your bike with a softball bat and a crowbar. One of them wasnt me.
J.D.: Oh! Thats what happened to my old bike!

Hot Female Doctor: You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innuendo.
Todd: ...In your endo.

Dr. Cox: Nice helmet!
J.D.: Actually it is not a helmet, it is a 'hairmet'. You see, it's got extra room built in so you don't mess up your hair due.
Dr. Cox: I'm going to write you a prescription for two testicles. You get it filled whenever.

Displaying quotes 61 - 72 of 4008 in total

Scrubs Quotes

Check it, I put orange soda in my IV bag, I'm like a hamster yo.

Cole

Gloria: Todd? Is he the big black security guard with the hook-hand?
Elliot: Uhm.. No..
Gloria: Then no.

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