Kim: This is the length of the average penis.
J.D.'s thoughts: What?!
Patient: That seems about right.
Kim: Good for you! I was just messing with J.D.
J.D.: You know what, I'm not talking to any of you guys. You're lying...! (J.D. checks patient's penis) Oh my God!
Dr. Kelso: I don't want to do this.
Janitor: I will just give the video tape to the police.
Dr. Kelso: Ladies and gentle, this is your chief of medical staff Bob Kelso, I feel compelled to tell you that I do in fact fear the Janitor. Honestly, is there anyone else of such brilliant mind? So please join me basking in the glow of the Janitors awesome... This isn't a word.
Janitor: Read it!
Dr. Kelso: ...'Fearatude'. Good night.
Janitor: ...and good luck! I love that movie.
Elliot: I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?
Turk: She's pregnant, she's not a bull.
Carla: Remember when I first started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him because he cried at the end of sex?
J.D.: Relax Brown Bear. There's no shame in 'crymaxing'.
Elliot: Did you enjoyed that pancakes that I left on your computer?
Carla: No, but I enjoyed that 3000 ants crawling on my keyboard.
Todd: There are two of them doing it on the 'F' button. I could be wrong but it looks like two girls.
And then the ultimate Cox-block.J.D.
Dr. Cox: When was the last time you ever met a cutter who didn't want to cut? Laverne! You have been here 40 years now, have you ever heard such a thing?
Laverne: I'm going to kill somebody!
Dr. Kelso: You know the difference between you and me, Dorian?
J.D.: Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
Hot Female Doctor: You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innuendo.
Todd: ...In your endo.
(To J.D.) Hey, come over here. We want to do stuff to you.Janitor
Barbie, are you a real doctor, or a doctor like Dr Pepper is a doctor?Dr. Cox
I started an "I hate Cox" chat room. It didn't work out the way I planned. It's just me, two interns and 14,000 lesbians.Elliot