Season 8, Episode 15: "My Soul On Fire, Part 2"
Van: I am not a strong public speaker, nor am I good with the Bible, so we'll see how this goes• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jordan: Remember when my dog died, you told me he went to doggie hell? And then you told me my mom was going to go to doggy hell when she dies?
Cox: Because of her doggy face?
Jordan: Right!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 8, Episode 14: "My Soul On Fire, Part 1"
Jordan [to Todd]: Hey meat head, I got a present for you: I'm thinking about going bone fishingTodd: I'm going bone fishing right now! And Ms. Sullivan, thanks so much for your setup
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 8, Episode 13: "My Full Moon"
Turk [about patient's fart]: Being a guy, I have to ask, what did it smell like?Sunny: Like thirty years of repression... and hot dogs
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Turk: Elliot, you're really cute but your booty is tiny. I don't know what I would do with that thing
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Elliot: When I was little, my mom told me my farts were little demons crawling around in my belly and if I let one out it'd give my grandmother cancer
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Elliot: I'm a doctor. We believe everything we see on the charts. That's why I write "Elliot has a killer tushie" on every one
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Denise [to Derek]: Aww that's adorable, you have a crush on yourself. I'd be careful, the guy you're in love with is a douche
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 8, Episode 12: "Their Story II"
J.D.: You need to hire a few more nursesCox: Look, Tammy, we don't have the money. If you want to go out and raise the cash yourself, feel free. Maybe you can sell your eggs to a fertility clinic. Or sell that beard of yours to a ridiculousness museum. Or better yet make a list of all the people that you drive insane and tell them for a nominal fee you'll never speak to them again. You, of course, offer them a monthly subscription at a reduced rate just to reel them in. And then after awhile of you not talking to you they'll forget just how annoying you are and they'll let their subscription run up and then bang.. that's when you show up at their house and you drive them insane all over again by speaking to them. And here's the kicker, when everyone's trying to resubscribe.. you lay it on them that the price is now quadruple. I'm predicting, and this is a low end guesstimate, you're looking at about a hundred million dollars a quarter
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Turk: You can try and emphasize instead of giving Derek here the googly eyes... Carla! [snaps his fingers]
Carla: Give her a break, he's like a male Halle Berry
• Rating: 5.5 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 544
