Season 8, Episode 9: "My Abscence"
Denise: I wish I was emotionally healthy enough to love someone so much that I died after they did. I was with that dude last night. Only way I'm going to die after him is if he had a heart attack while he was on top of me. Crap, I just turned myself on• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Turk: I was pulling some dude's spleen out today, and check it, blood splashed on my scrubs, looks like a tiger. Roar!
Carla: Why is that part a different color?
Turk: I might have used chocolate pudding to do the tail
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Elliot: J.D. was sitting in that exact chair when we had our third kiss
Kelso: Oh that is very romantic, I will try not to drill any more farts into it
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Elliot: Dr. Kelso, you do realize you don't work here anymore
Kelso: Look, her husband was an old friend of mine, plus I have forgotten more medicine than you two will ever know. [to Denise] I don't know you but I assume I have you beat because you're blond and rolling with ms reeks of beer
Elliot: It's my hair, okay?
Denise: And watch the lip, grandpa, because you wouldn't be the first old man I beat up
Kelso: I like her, she has girl balls
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 8, Episode 8: "My Lawyer's In Love"
Ted: I'm not what you call a winner... sure I'm a lawyer but that's only becaus I took the bar exam in Alaska and they only have like four laws and most of them are when you can and cannot kill... seals.• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
[after stapling clothes to the wall in the form of a person...]
Jack: Hey guys, I finally got a brother!
Cox: He's either a genius or an idiot
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack [to J.D.'s baby]: Janus, you are one ugly baby, seriously
J.D: Did you actually teach your son to be mean to a baby?
Cox: Not just any baby, but your baby. Come here Jacky boy, you're going to get ten thousand jelly beans, I love you so much
J.D. They can both be so mean
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
J.D.: We found you in the park throwing rocks at old couples...
Ted: Why should they be happy!?
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Season 8, Episode 7: "My New Role"
Carla: My best friend is a doctorElliot: Who's your best friend?
Carla: You are
Elliot: I know, I just wanted to hear it
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Season 8, Episode 6: "My Cookie Pants"
J.D.: Hey, I'm glad I found you. I need your approval to cut down some lollipop trees outside the sea monkey hutDenise: What are you talking about?
J.D.: These decisions have to go through you because you're the mayor of crazy town
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Total Quotes: 544
