Season 8, Episode 4: "My Happy Place"
Dr. Cox [to Turk]: Look, surgeons always want to slice people open whether it's the best option or not. No disrespect, but you're just not that bright, you have no idea how to do anything else. Unfortunately, sick people are also very, very stupid and almost always agree to anything that a blood-letting corpse carpenter, such as yourself, tells them. I simply stay in the room to make sure they make the right choice• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Elliot [about Turk]: How did you know he was hurting. Did you, like, hear it in his voice?
J.D.: With Turk I can always feel it from his soul, like a wave of heat. Are you going to make a joke about how gay that sounds?
Elliot: Definitely. I just don't have the words yet.
J.D.: Well let me know
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Turk: I don't understand. If I'm the best surgeon here, how come you're always looking over my shoulder?
Dr. Cox: Oh give me a break, would you? Saying someone is "the best surgeon" is like saying someone is the smartest cast member of The Hills. Let's face it, it's just not that tough to float to the top of the surgical toilet
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Dr. Kelso: I bet you can't wait to call all your friends and tell them how pathetic I am.
J.D.: Actually, sir, we young people are more into texting these days
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J.D. [to Dr. Kelso]: Did you know that Elliot's granny panties are actually her Granny's panties?
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J.D.: The point is, Elliot, you're a lot stronger than you used to be. I've changed too. I have a beard now
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Elliot: Do you still let that inner voice of yours control you?
J.D.'s narration: This is getting too serious. Kick her, kick her in the head.
J.D.: Not as much
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Season 8, Episode 3: "My Saving Grace"
Carla: Look, Katie, now that you're here it doesn't matter what crap you had in your past all that matters is that you leave it there because this hospital is your home now and these people are your family and i can tell you they will love you unconditionally if you let them but if you don't they... check that.. we will eat you alive• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
J.D.: It's like, all of a sudden, this hospital is a police state.
Elliot: The next thing you know, they'll be charging doctors for candy at the gift shop.
J.D.: They do charge doctors for candy at the gift shop, Elliot.
Elliot: Really? Then why does Johann always let me-
J.D.: Because he wants to make you his wife and bring you back to Estonia.
Elliot: Ah, that's why he's always asking me if I'm comfortable around oxen
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Elliot [to gift store clerk]: Oooh, look at that big lollipop. I wouldn't know whether to lick it or just to lift up my skirt and spank myself with it.
J.D.: Elliot!
Elliot: It's free candy
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Total Quotes: 544
