Scrubs Season 2 Quotes
Ted: Dr. Reid, I'm afraid that nothing you've described constitutes harassment.
Dr. Kelso: Swing and a miss, eh, Dr. Reid! Well, the next time you decide to make a stink over nothing, maybe you should see a lawyer who didn't need five tries to pass the bar exam!
Ted: I have stress-induced dyslexia, and you know that, Dr... Oslek.
- Permalink: Dr. Reid, I'm afraid that nothing you've described constitutes h...
Dr. Cox: Why are you doing this?
Jordan: I'll tell you why I'm doing this, Perry. Because we've been dancing the same annoying dance for years now! One of us gets angry and walks away, and the other person's too stubborn to go after them. Before you know it, you're sleeping with some toothpick-size pharmaceutical rep, and I'm trying to convince my mom that the thing in my suitcase is a giant electric melon-baller! Well guess what? Things are different now - we have a kid together. I'm not going home until you promise that you're coming home with me.
Dr. Cox: You go home. I'll meet you there later.
Jordan: Bring dinner.
- Permalink: Why are you doing this? I'll tell you why I'm doing this, Perr...
Spence: Well, I'm sorry you guys can't make the wedding.
J.D.: Yeah, well, give the guys a big kiss for us.
Turk Don't forget to tell 'em that the ferret only eats fresh vegetables.
Spence: I'm gonna miss you guys... Heh heh, I'll see you later.
- Permalink: Well, I'm sorry you guys can't make the wedding. Yeah, well, g...
J.D.'s Narration: Really, all you can hope for is just an occasional thank-you.
J.D.: I'm so glad the medication worked on your foot.
Mr. Graff: So I'm supposed to be happy because someone finally did something right?
J.D.'s Narration: You're welcome.
- Permalink: Really, all you can hope for is just an occasional thank-you. ...
Ted: Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of the legal ramifications of all your teensy snafus.
Dr. Kelso: "Teensy snafus"?!? Good God, Ted, it's not a Dr. Seuss story! Now, listen up, nametags! Over fifty percent of our lawsuits can be traced back to poor patient-doctor communication. To that end, if any of you still feel the need to flap your babble holes, you will be joining me in my new daily seminar on doctor-patient relations. My first invitee will be Dr. Murphy, whom I recently overheard telling someone, "Stop bleeding, stop bleeding, oh, God, please stop bleeding."
- Permalink: Okay, gang! Before we begin, Dr. Kelso wants me to remind you of...
Dr. Cox: Nine pounds in a week!? Let me ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside someone's clogged artery. And all that a person has to do, really, is - oh, I don't know - go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that!?! And I know, I know, here I'm supposed to be Dr. Give A Crap, but you wanna know the God's honest truth? And this is a fact - you are what you eat, and you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn'cha!
- Permalink: Are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea...
Jamie: J.D., I really wanted tonight to be romantic.
J.D.: Sweetie, it is! Now, exactly how much feeling am I supposed to lose in my extremities?
Jamie: Just enough so it still hurts.
- Permalink: What? J.D., I really wanted tonight to be romantic. Sweetie,...
Elliot: This is exactly like the dress I bought! Huh!
Elliot: Oh, I-I didn't already buy a wedding dress. I mean, I'm not even dating anybody, so that would be crazy... Whether it was half-off or not..
- Permalink: This is exactly like the dress I bought! Huh! Hm? Oh, I-I di...
Dr. Cox: Okay, Mr. Westfeld, now the angioplasty went well, but here's the thing: It is on you, pardner. You gotta start watching what you eat so that we can kick this thing in the ass. Okay?
J.D.: It's on you, pardner!
Dr. Cox: Oh, gosh, Shannon, thank you so much for clarifying my point by repeating it word for word.
- Permalink: It is on you, pardner. You gotta start watching what you eat so ...