Scrubs Season 3 Quotes
Worthless Peons: "(Bum-bum-bum) Hava nagila, hava nagila, hava na-"
J.D.: Ted! Church!
Ted: We do mostly Bar Mitzvahs.
Carla: I can't believe he's not here yet!
J.D.: Don't worry! I made it!
Carla: I don't care about you, you idiot!
J.D.(to the priest): They had premarital sex.
Ever since I was a little girl I had this fairytale idea of a perfect wedding - and oh yeah - I always ended up married!Carla
Turk: Gimme that appendix! Let's close this guy up, and I'm outta here!
Dr. Miller: Wait. Look at his lesions on his peritoneum.
Turk: Oh, no.
Dr. Miller: Dr. Turk...what do you think we should do?
Turk: Leave a post-it in there for the next guy?
J.D.'s Narration: Besides, somehow you always seem to end up with the person you're meant to be with.
Janitor: One, two, three.
J.D. and Janitor lift the chair with a pssed out Dr. Kelso sitting on it
J.D.: Thanks for helping out.
Janitor: I'm only going as far as the dumpster.
Jordan: Perry... Jack is at my mom's, the apartment is empty... It's just you and me... Let's take a nap! We'll sleep through the ceremony, and then go to the reception.
Dr. Cox: Can we at least have sex?
Jordan: Do what you have to. Don't wake me.
J.D.'s Narration: There she is! Do something charming.
J.D.: Elliot, check it out. Kelso gave me his car keys.
He tosses the keys, hitting her in the face.
Elliot: Ow! What are you doing?!
J.D.: I'm-I'm just trying to think of ways to make things right!
Elliot: Well, you can cross off keys in the face!
Dr. Miller: So, are you ready for your appendectomy?
Mr. Fitzpatrick: Hey, what do you do with an appendix after you've removed it?
Turk: We make finger puppets.
Dr. Kelso: I'll just have a club soda. I'm driving home.
Bartender: It's an open bar.
Dr. Kelso: Give me a bucket of scotch!
Turk: If I work this shift, I can finagle two extra days on the honeymoon.
J.D.: Ooh, nice use of "finagle."
Turk: Oh, thanks.
Todd: Dude, that pick-up line you gave me for all the Spanish chicks is not working.
Marco: Maybe you're saying it wrong. Let's hear it.
Todd(Translated): I have genital herpes... for you.
Marco: Nope. That's right. Keep trying.
Todd(Translated): Many herpes!... Big! Oh, yeah!
Dr. Kelso: Ahhh! Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?